Alone Again
[edit] I've removed some information from the post for privacy reasons [edit]
So I've known I'll be driving 10+ hours to a wedding for about a month now.
Yesterday I found out that by the way, his daughter (10 years old) wants to come, too.
So I told him I'll go by myself. This just seems like a repeat of the amusement park trip two weeks ago.
We would only be gone for one friggin' day-can't she come over another day instead? Can he say 'no' for 24 hours?
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That makes me feel so much
That makes me feel so much better to hear that. Maybe I need to learn how to say 'no', too...to BF.
I bought the air conditioner,
I bought the air conditioner, so yes, she's out of my room.
Part of what kind of puts me off is that he says she wants to spend time with him, but when she comes over, she spends all of her time watching TV and he sleeps. He makes her special meals even though its obvious he never feels like doing it and I've already made a perfectly good lunch or dinner. I keep waiting for him to see the obvious solution to the problem...say 'no'...she might whine a little about it, but surprisingly enough, she doesn't appear to be especially spoiled yet, and I don't think she'd really put up that much of a fight.
Yeah-I have a perfectly good
Yeah-I have a perfectly good full-time job, car, and friends who will help me move. I can leave whenever I want to.
This is my first relationship, so I guess I'm trying to make sure that I 'do it right'.
WTF? i would be livid! no,
WTF? i would be livid! no, she can't go... she wasn't invited and it's not b-day party at chuck e cheese! and it's 10+ hours away...
why does she really want to go??
dh isn't that bad most of the time (however he just pulled a little stunt like this about 5 minutes ago, but i've decided today is a good day and am going to try and not rip him a new asshole or be a complete bitch to ss) ~~ anyhoo, where i was going with this is, my MIL will not say NO to skids, she's worse at the guilty gping then either bm or dh... and creates all kinds of problems between dh & i..
i think you should have a talk with dh and help him see the light of why sd isn't going with the two of you... if i were you and made that drive alone after dh said he would go if he could, i would be a raging lunatic by the time a returned... that's a shit load of time to think about how much his actions & sd piss you off... might end this should i or shouldn't i marry his ass.
so your bf doesn't know how
so your bf doesn't know how to say no, to his darling princess. mine at one time didn't either. I had to put my foot down about it small things like this and I say small things because its just one day. the child has no business leaving to go 10+ hours away to somewhere, where she knows anyone that just seems silly to me, what about her bm would her bm even be comfortable with her daughter doing that far away?
I would just sit down with your husband and let him know you would like for him to come but your not up for his dd coming along on such a long drive and spin it to him like its his idea tell him all the cons to it like she wouldn't have a very good time riding in a car that long, nor would she know anyone and would he actually enjoy himself having his child hang onto him 24/7. men sometimes need to be talk to like its all their idea so to speak. Just try and talk to him in away he wont get defensive, like most of them do. I hope the situation works out in your favor, at one time I was in the same shoe's as you were with my husband not saying No and at times he still slips up! its totaly sucks, and I feel for you.
Thanks-I'm definitely getting
Thanks-I'm definitely getting better at handling his defensiveness. Both of us have pretty decent-sized egos, and swallowing mine sometimes is hard, but it seems to be the only way to accomplish something in a discussion instead of just having a fight.
He should have told her no.
He should have told her no. I swear this was my life while we were dating. Big red warning lights should have been going off for me. Meals were an issue but, at least that has resolved itself. He refused to make separate meals when we moved in. That worked and now they try everything. Enjoy the wedding without him. He may see it differently when you get back. But, I would definitely not take her with. I agree with you on this. That is rude to the bride and groom this late in the planning.