So we gave BM the initial papers our lawyer wrote up for us and she was calm and agreeable until she saw that since we would be 50/50, she would get very little CS, if any at all. She then threw a hissy fit over the phone (to H) and hung up on him when he was in mid sentence! She couldn't have made it more obvious that it's not her kids she cares about, but the money.

Our lawyer is actually really happy about all this and how things are going because she said it is going to be very obvious to a mediator or a judge that BM just wants H to support her and irrationally feels entitled to anything she wants and is delusional enough that she thinks H owes her money.

The next step is that we are going to have BM served with papers directly from the court, requesting that she respond within 20 days. If she doesn't respond, the suit automatically defaults in our favor. She is so disorganized and crazy that I wouldn't be surprised if it happens like that. She is really falling apart and we got two calls from SS12 this week, saying his mom forgot to pick him up and could we come get him and on the last day we had them and she was supposed to pick them up, she completely forgot about it. It was 8:00 at night! How can you not notice that your children aren't home?!! She wasn't just a few minutes late either, she was forty five minutes late and because her phone just got cut off due to non-payment, we had no way of getting a hold of her and wound up having to drop them off ourselves. Instead of being apologetic, she was completely bitchy and rude and shut the door in H's face when he was trying to ask her about a summer school recreational program that SS12 is in. This is interesting because that is how she is with me; she has always been hostile, nasty and bitchy, but until recently she has kept things fairly civil with H and has acted like they have some special bond that I am excluded from. The fact that she hasn't been able to hold herself together is very significant because that only happens when she knows she's not going to get what she wants and things are going really badly (for her).

I think it's finally hitting her (FINALLY!) that H hates her guts and that he wants nothing more than to have no more contact with her for the rest of his life. The only reason he does deal with her is because he has to for the skids. She has made creepy comments up until fairly recently, implying that H is interested in her life or cares for her on some level. She can't separate herself out from her kids and so when H is sweet and kind to the skids in front of BM, she acts like she is included in his affection and like she assumes that he would still be in her life if they didn't have kids!!! Now that we have initiated the custody modification, she has finally gotten the picture and now knows that not only does H hate her, but that he is determined to fight for his right to have his kids half the time.

When she served him with custody papers right after we were married (after agreeing to work things out without lawyers)it turned out that she didn't really realize that it was a legally binding document and that it held her responsible too. After all the papers were signed and filed that first time, she kept trying to go off the court ordered schedule and then when H refused she threw a fit and said that the custody agreement was a "guideline." She was the one who initiated the law suit and then didn't even want to follow it herself!!

This time, we are serving the papers to her and it will be interesting to see how she responds. Even if she is a total bitch and refuses to sign the papers and it goes to court, we have such a strong case that neither H, nor I, nor our lawyer are at all worried. Our lawyer says it is pretty much a cut and dry case and that any judge would see that the current schedule of dropping the kids off at Psycho's at bedtime is more disruptive to them than just spending the night with us on those nights and it will also be clear that she just wants money, not time with her kids because she gets to see them for about five minutes before they fall asleep and then she has random babysitters watch them in the morning and take them to school because taking them to school interferes with her job! If she goes to court to fight for five minutes in the evening with her kids and having them asleep in her house for those two nights a week and then having a babysitter be with them before school, it will be extremely obvious that what she cares about is the CS that is based on how many overnights each parent has, rather than time with them.

Our lawyer is writing up the court petition now and as soon as she is done we are serving her with the new papers.

As soon as things get rolling, i'll post more updates...Prayers and happy thoughts would be appreciated!!!