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To Babysit or Not To Babysit

stepkate's picture

[edit] I've removed some information from the post for privacy reasons [edit]

Mr. Kate makes another one of his sweeping assumptions that I don't mind taking on more responsibility for his daughter. He says that once he gets his drivers license back, he'll be off work in time to get her off the bus, and I can put her on the bus because "if you have to go in late, then you just have to". FYI, I have a flexible schedule where I can go in later, but I like going in earlier because I like missing am and pm rush hour traffic and I like getting home in the evening at a reasonable time.

I'm saving that battle for later, because my family is coming to visit me soon, and I'm about 80% sure he'll want me to watch FSD (who is pretty dependent on adults as she can't make any meals or entertain herself) while they're here too, and that fight should take care of our weekend quota by itself.

Telling him that I am not responsible for his kid is getting old pretty quick.

Comments

GoinNutz's picture

Seems to me you need to tell Mr. Kate he needs to find Before School & after school care if need be, but that You wont be changing your work routine. Period.

I had a similiar istance happen with me, I had a stuggle getting my kids before school care, because the person they were going to, fell on hard times, and ended up getting evicted (long story) anyway, my kids have 2 weeks left of school and i ONLY needed someone for 1hr in the mornings... very hard to find! I tried to figure it out, stressing feeling sick over it, feeling helpless, until the lightbulb came on, and HEY bioDad can do it! Yup, every morning 630am, I am dropping 3 kids off to biodad, who has to GET UP, and get them to school (not very close, about a 25min ride). But "I" didnt expect my DH to' fix ' it ,

Another scenerio DH has SD,& things happend and he needed a sitter for today and tomorrow. I simply said, Not my problem, I suggested who he should call. He called 3 people, found somoene to keep her, and wala HE fixed his issue. I did not call, I did not step in, I wasnt fixing it. His daughter, his problem.

I found care for my 3, he can find his own care for his 1.

I would just tell him, "I'm unable to just "be late" for work on a regular basis, you will have to find before school care for her" and leave it at that.

As far as weekends, I dont mind keeping SD at all. But SD wont interfere with my career, so Mon-Fri, its his problem!

pepercash's picture

Oh wow, this sounds like me but I am a sucker. I used to watch the SDs all of the time and without argument but when I would get frustrated because they were fighting alot or acting up and I would complain then I was being evil and didn't want the girls around and how dare I be this way. Never mind all of the time and effort I put into the girls. It is a tough situation because you love the DH and want everything to be smooth sailing but in reality I think it gets to a point where they just expect things to happen and forget about actually considering how you would feel or even bothering to ask. There were times where I felt like just a babysitter how I was bending over backwards for both parents and now I am like the evil witch (according to the BM)... I feel you completely really I do! Sad