I hold myself in contempt by the grace of the nickname I rendered myself to bf over skids: STEPDRAGON!!! He has said I need to quit that, but why? We do NOT see eye to eye on what should be considered unruly, lazy or even unkempt behaviors. Now, here is the other thing that makes me feel bad about being a BM in the midst of of all you steps---I have/had little to no interaction with their mom (skids) or even kids' dad since mine and bf's relationship started. BF didn't want me to be "subjected" to her evil he said--think I could hold my own, but with things being as they are now-is it because he didnt want her telling me about him, why she really left? Kids' dad is just your typical deadbeat who though last year tells me he thinks him not taking visitation with his children was the best thing for them---are you kidding me? I think for my own situation in particular had he taken them the same weekends bf's kids werent with us he and I might still be "together" not living apart. Or even, because he wouldnt take them those weekends (jealous bastard--makes me feel better) eow would still have given me and bf time that i would have spent interacting with his kids. I proclaim so thouroughly out loud mine and kids' entitlement to $1300/month cs as I am a full-time working momma and I was when the arrangements were made-hence the division being calcualted on both our incomes. Why do I do this? Because currently I am a single momma raising 2 teens headed to college and a little person. Though he is supposed to be paying their insurance and a relative of mine said to drop it anad put them on state---why would I take from others in more dire straits than us when he should be paying after all. So, like the momma I am--I am paying for their insurance, their upbringing, our lives. What sucks is he calls to boohoo on my shoulder about such and such dumping him (actually crying) and I ask him if he's stupid? All she wanted was whaat was in his wallet--presumably thats all any have wanted from him including the last one who said he shouldnt pay me at all ever. Wow--can you say jail time and probation and regular payments for almost a year?

As far as interaction with moomoo-I did try to have a convo with her about her touchy-feely boy and my 2yr old. Fell flat like everything else-she said nothing. She has sent his kids over sicker than dogs and when mine had MRSA one of his had something pretty bad and needed not be around one another I actually had to tell him no---or I was taking mine and going to my mother's. Why is it so hard to grasp what "vicious cycle" means? arrrrggghhhh

OK end of weirdly rambling rant

I still say I'm bad because the devil made me do it }:)