Do all BM's go crazy when good fortune comes your way?
Now that we have 1/2 custody, BM has gone off her rocker, trying to gain any element of control that she possibly can.
She tried to block me from picking up SD from school, we provided a letter stating that I can and the school has accepted it. She is trying to pick up SD from school on our custody week without telling DH about it. He told her the next time, the police are going to come talk to her about it. She said she wouldn't anymore but she still has to test it!
Now, when she comes to pick up SD for her custody week, at 6pm on Sunday night, he inevitably gets a call 30 seconds when she pulls away from the curb and a barage of calls and texts for the next hour to two hours from her and from SD who is crying. Why didn't you take SD to this activity? Why didn't you let SD call me? And it's not just normal conversation, it's accusation and screaming.
So basically every other Sunday, when she comes to pick up SD, she interrogates her immediately and continuing for god knows how long about every single thing. Who does that? Interrogating their own child to get 'evidence' or to regain control.
We just closed on a house so she is pretty upset about that as well. Every single time we get a new car, or change residences or have any HINT of 'good' news, BM freaks the hell out. Now with her losing 1/2 custody, and our new house, she is really going bonkers! She is trying her best to make us miserable. Does anyone else have to deal with this kind of crap?
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In a word, YES. The crazy
In a word, YES. The crazy ones, anyway. That's why so many of them go ballistic and kick their insane tactics into high gear when their ex gets remarried.
If you aren't already doing this, make a log of EVERY single thing she does. And any time there is evidence of it, save it in a file (take screen shots of texts, save voicemails, record conversations with her, etc.). At some point, you can either show her that you have evidence of this stuff (play back a voicemail or send her a screenshot) and tell her that you are preparing a file for a court case. That might calm her down a little.
Another thing you can do is show up at her door with a cop if she, for example, tries to not give SD back when her visitation is over.
BB
You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved
Interesting. I wonder if
Interesting. I wonder if that changes according to the state. Our BM was threatening to withhold visitation one weekend. DH called the cops, and they said, if she does not give SD to you on Friday evening, call us on Saturday morning and we will have an officer show up at her door with you.
BB
You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved
Very true. I try to keep
Very true. I try to keep very detailed records. The next time in court would be for full custody, but our lawyer already told us that unless she's on drugs or beats the kid, that's a low possiblitly. So I'll just keep taking notes. Hopefully a serious sounding letter from the lawyer will straighten her out.
I know DH is heasitant about using the police because it might scare SD, but I told him, he's going to have to play hard ball if he wants her to leave us the heck alone. We'll see. Maybe she is still adjusting. Hopefully it gets better.
GOD I hate that! You have
GOD I hate that! You have the same type of things said. I've heard very similar stuff "Those people aren't your REAL family", "That is not your REAL home." We even took SD camping last summer and we heard "This is not the REAL forest." What? We go camping in the "fake" forest now?
I did enjoy the look on her face when she had to explain herself and her behavior in court. Hopefully you get the same satisfaction!
I have been dealing with a
I have been dealing with a crazy mom like this for 8 years. she used to call every 5 min and demand we call her when ever we took her son to do anything new. She is nuts! Anytime we went somewhere or got a new car, got married, had babies, got a new home etc... She always tried to ruin it for us. DON'T LET HER!!! It is all about the control and it is so bad for the child. If she is that messed up, document everything and keep every text and voice mail because we ended up in a 4 year long custody battle with a custody evaluator who decides what is best for the child. IT SUCKS!
You are so right, it will
You are so right, it will never end. But I have to find a way to stop caring. It just sucks when all you hear is negative lies coming out of her mouth and SD saying "mommy says..." and another 1000 lies and negative bull crap.
I just have to find a way to enjoy that BM is such a miserable person and not be upset about the crap spewing from her ugly face.
The unfortunate thing is that she learned a lesson in not leaving psycho voicemails and anything psycho in writing since that is how she lost half custody.
Continue to record
Continue to record EVERYTHING!!!! DH has had primary custody forever, and BM continually is harrasssing, trying to gain some control, trying to keep us on edge. We keep copies of everything (my basement is a mess w/all extra paperwork :?
We also keep for SDs' in the future. BM is a chronic liar, and once age out, we stop w/the he said, she said, and just show them the proof.
Well, from a BM perspective,
Well, from a BM perspective, I feel for her losing primary custody. So yes, she is stuggling with not having so much control over her children. I'd probably freak out if I had to give my kids up EOW as well. Not to mention I personally think having to switch between houses every other week is extremely unhealthy for the kids. There's very little stability in that. Its a big adjustment for mommies to hand their kids over to someone else (even their dads), whether they are sane or crazy. Hopefully she will get more comfortable. My guess is if she doesn't feel their dad is a good enough parent, she will probably stay like that.
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
Yes I agree 100%...kids get
Yes I agree 100%...kids get shuffled so much they dont even feel like they have a home. I dont think its fair to them. EOW is definitely better than every few days! OMG that sounds terrible. I have even heard of every other day. Just ridiculous!
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
The situation with us is
The situation with us is much different though. Even when she had 'residential custody', SD was dropped with us every single weekend and a few weekdays every week, and if she did have her for a weekend, she would take her to a relative so she could go on vacation or party. She would also use the extra time she 'allowed' DH to have as leverage to manipulate for more money.
SD is not affected by this in a negative way, the only harm is BM freaking out, and BM not being able to adjust to giving up all the control she had over our household. I have no pity for her. If I thought for one minute she loved her child more than herself, I would, but she doesn't and never will. Her child is her 'property' which is the only reason she is upset, she only has half control over her property now.
I think you are my best
I think you are my best friend!! Every Sunday when my DH gives the child back to the BM, she calls none stop about why is he sick, why does he have a scrap on his knee, why does he this brand of diapers on, why does he had a temp tattoo on his arm. He is 2 years old. On Thursday when my DH gets his child we never call and ask the BM why he has this and that and blah blah blah. And then Every Monday or Tuesday she has to take him to the doctor for something, may it be he blink x amount of times in a day, or he yawned this amount of times. Grrr... lol
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yes. Dh and i just got our
yes. Dh and i just got our first really "nice" house, have sole custody, are about to be married and tryin for a kid.... i have a feeling the maddness is just starting (and its not like its been anything less than hell; my menstrual cycle stopped four months ago and when i went to the obgyn, they told me it was due to stress, gave me some meds and told me to chill out cause my blood pressure has skyrocketed!)... so.. ya. every time we get somethin good, bm tries to "one up us" so to speak, and shes not nice about it, and when she inevitably crashes and burns we get the ohhh poor me i never did anything wrong why is this happening to me calls for a few months. then she starts being SATAN until she crashes and burns again.. its a really awesome cycle :sick: . soon as she figured out we're getting married very very soon, she will absolutely not be invited and there is nothing she can do to stop it, she has been all over dh ("youre better than my bf in bed, youre jeaous of my bf cause you want me.. ) like white on rice. yep - she goes bonkers, every. single. time.
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."