Does anyone feel like their DH/SO doesn't know how to fight like an adult?
Maybe it's because he's used to dealing with immature and childish women that don't fight like a grownup either, but we have been together longer than DH was with BM as a whole, and he still doesn't fight fair most of the time.
I don't tolerate name calling, so he doesn't do that anymore like he did initially. But it seems like he HAS to generalize and make blanket statements about me and my character rather than the issue at hand. "You ALWAYS do ABC." "You NEVER do ABC." Really???
Anyone else feel like they are arguing with a spoiled teenager rather than a grown man????
I've actually seen arguments between DH and BM, which I'm sure is indicative of the way they fought when they were together. She literally stomps her feet, balls her fists and screams at the top of her lungs. Name calling, and strings of filthy words. As I said before she has a filthy mouth and a high pitched voice; nails on a chalkboard. I will never be this kind of person. I'm an adult. So why does he downgrade himself in an argument and try to drag me down with him to fight like that????
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I try to, logical, rational
I try to, logical, rational and stick to the subject. But then he throws out some rediculous accusation out of left field that is really hurtful and it makes me SO mad. How do you field that?
Sounds familiar. What did
Sounds familiar. What did the MD say? How does one go about fixing something like that?
Actually, I'm very blessed
Actually, I'm very blessed that BF doesn't engage when things get heated. I'm very stubborn at times, and I do want to fight it out (argue/yell), but not necessarily for the sake of fighting, but rather as a release.
BF will let me blow my steam off without saying anything or either saying "IDK" when I ask him questions (which gets under my skin even more at the time) but I'm glad he does this otherwise things would escalate more than they should, and then when I'm ready to actually talk rationally we do get somewhere and are able to find a middle ground.
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Oh yeah, DH fights like a
Oh yeah, DH fights like a 10-year-old who was cornered in a lie. It's ridiculous. He calls names and curses, which I hate. I don't do that. I try to stick to the facts and speak in a calm voice while DH is yelling over the top of me. Then he starts changing the subject to something I have done wrong (it could be years ago). He absolutely cannot stay on subject and resolve ANYTHING. I swear, some days (like right now), I want to shake him until he rattles and treat him like the 10-year-old he seems to be.
It's exhausting. We don't
It's exhausting. We don't fight often but when we do, it just has to turn into something ugly.
Another thing that drives me crazy is I'll say "Why did you turn this into an argument?!?! I don't want to do this right now!" and he'll say "YOU turned it into an argument!"... What? It's like going around in circles with a child.
Yeah Dumbo argues like a two
Yeah Dumbo argues like a two year old. Never, Always, fine I'll just quit my job. He never really can put together a cohesive well-thought out response. Its sad actually.
Maybe I need to take your
Maybe I need to take your DH's actions and make them my own. But it's hard for me to just let him rant making stupid statements that have nothing to do with the situation, and he'll escalate it until I'm so pissed I want to twist his neck.
How funny, I start cleaning when I'm really pissed off too. lol
In my past relationship I
In my past relationship I was a great fighter! I would listen calmly...we would discuss points of view etc.
In this relationship...I`m the BAD fighter. I don`t know what it is about FH, but man he can bring out the worst in me!
He`s calm most of the time, but pushes things. I usually like to let things settle and clear my head before addressing issues, but he pushes. What happens next can only be described as rage and tantruming! I feel like I can`t control myself! I yell. I have thrown objects. I threaten to leave. IT is absolutely nuts and I can`t figure out why I can`t control myself.
Thought I`d make a confession... :?
***Life - It's not a rehearsal***