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MIL and BM

Kiki730's picture

Ok so this is my first post of this kind and it may be pretty long! First I have been dationg my Fiancee for 5 years. SD was only 2 at the time. Well BM and fiancee obviously did not get along at all and I was able to intervine. I get along with the BM very well and I think its great that we do. It keeps the peace and great for SD7 to see us this way.Well my soon to be MIL hates the fact that we get along b/c my fiancee never had to take her advice any more because I handled all situations as to when we took SD7 and when we did favors PS BM and I went to look, and MIL hated that we were "friends". MIL hates BM nad would trash talk her in front on SD. Well I had my son in July of 08 and since then MIL HATES me! Over stupid things like me asking her not to pass my son around at a party b/c he was getting sick. And that was in Sept of 08. Well here we are in Feb of 10 and she still hates me and has now disowned my Fiancee for proposing to me!!!!! We SD has been sad and wanted to see the MIL but hasnt said a work to me or my fiancee but has been crying to BM. So BM took it upon herself to go see the dreaded witch MIL and then brought SD to see her! BM never told me or my fiancee that she was doing this until it was already done. I feel so hurt the BM would go behind our backs. I think it is a privledge to be a grandmother and if she cant deal with her own son why she she see either grandchild? Well now BM and FIL think I should suck it up and be the bigger person (which I have tried 3 times and she tore me apart and told me to stay out of it.)and to go talk to her.
What shoudl I do?! Was it wrong of BM to bring her to MY future MIL's house??? They have nothing to do with each other anymore!Hope this isnt to confusing!!

Comments

TheWife's picture

No, it wasn't wrong. But it is confusing, because if your MIL can't stand BM why did she go? It sounds like she was on your side when she hated BM, and now that she hates you she is befriending BM. Sounds a little too-faced to me.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

Kiki730's picture

Yes you make sense. I just dont know that I could ever be nice to her again. I cringe just think about her touching my son. MIL blames me for all the issues in her family too. She hasnt seen either kid since last may untill BM just brough SD there last week.

Kiki730's picture

she was on my side and she says she still dislikes my MIL but that it was for her daughter. But if it was really like that then why didnt she tell us to begin with? It does seem two-faced to me too! I think it should have been my fiancees job to bring his daughter there if she milled grandmother that much. I dont know anymore.

Kiki730's picture

yeah my son was born at the end of July and when he was 11 days old I didnt have a hat on his head when it was90 degrees out so she screamed at me in front of SD, boyfrined, and her mother. we were still ok with each other untill 5 weeks later I had a surprise bday party for my boyfriend and my son had a little cold but I had no one to watch him everyone was the party. So MIL was holding him but everytime I turned around another person had him. So I nicely asked not to pass him around. Well she continued to do so, so I went to my boyfirned and asked him to ask her to jsut hold him, well she saw me talking to boyfriend and came over and grabbed my arm in front of all 50 people and started yelling at me that if I have a problem with her that I need to say something to her. I just said to her that this is boyfriends party I am not doing this with her here. Well when the person holding my son gave him back to her I very childish ripped my son right out of her hands b/c I counld't take it any more. I have apologized for the way I acted numerious times but she has nothing to say and just keeps telling me I got pregnant to keep my now fiancee around. I mean I love him to death but he is no prince he doesnt treat me like gold hes not rich there was no reason I would have to get pregnant just to keep him. So I have gone there to talk to her twice both which have ended with me crying and walking out and so I gave it a few months and tried emailing her to which she responded by telling me how rude arrogant and disrespectful I am. I dont think that I should have to try anymore.

Kiki730's picture

Well both kids do see the FIL we will go out to dinner or lunch at least once a month usually twice a month b/c we get SD every other Sunday and it's easier than a week night. Honestly, and I know I am being totally stubborn now but my son doesnt know her and I like it this way I dont care that he doesnt know her. She makes no attempt to see him at all. But if she cant handle seeing us then how could she see the kids? I wont drop them off there SD says she yells at her all the time, but then after not seeing her she missed her I guess. And when I first started dating my fiancee she always used to bash BM in front of SD there is no way she will be trashing talking me in front of my SD or my BS.

Kiki730's picture

Wow. I feel the same way about just being done with her. The weird thing is while I was pregnant everything was fine. I mean she witnessed the labor of her grandson. I wanted my mom there and I invited MIL along just so she didnt feel left out. I dont know where I went so wrong. Other than taking my son out of her arms but at that point she already hated me! I wish mine lived 4.5 hours away instead its only 30 mins and 10 mins from my work! my Finacee doesnt even talk to her anymore since she pretty much made him choose her or me.