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BM and SS, I have had it with them......

yesican's picture

Well this weekend went great until sd's b-day party on Sunday at MIL's. My ss was there, for those of you who don't know he does not come to our home because bm says I am mean and has accused me of abuse on him. I feel very uncomfortable around him and he is very self centered and a total brat. He hardly sees dh, every Wednesday for 1 hour and EOW on Sundays for 2 hours, he makes it very clear that he wants to be with bm, no rules and he doesn't have to do anything. SS basically ignores dh and this is the 2nd time I have been around him since Aug 08. And both times bm has either said hateful things to sd's or calls and demands that my dh bring the kids back early from visitation. She called MIL's house Sunday and was yelling and fighting with dh about the skids going home early. She really ticks me off bad, to put it nicely. I don't want to have anything to do with ss, I go to these family things to make my MIL happy. I told dh that I was no longer going to family functions when ss is there, it causes to much heartache and stress. It has been almost 8 months since ss came to our house and I don't see it happening anytime in the near future. Do you think it is wrong of me to pull his individual picture off of the wall and leave the ones with him and the rest of the kids up? I hate looking at the pictures of him he has caused so much heartache with our whole family and he could care less, he doesn't even care that he has hurt and continues to hurt dh so badly. Dh has accepted that he doesn't want to be at our home, and sees how horrible he acts.

Comments

Most Evil's picture

I do understand and think it is ok to take down his picture if he upsets you this much. Maybe give DH a small picture he can keep where he can see it, but you don't have to be reminded.

It sounds like a nightmare that maybe if you do take some time away from, how long is undefined at this point, you may feel differently and meanwhile it will make it less urgent to BM to be a pain.

MIL will just have to understand. Mine puts me in the same position with her now 40 year old psycho son who threatened us and I just refuse to go if he will be there. Come to think of it, so does everyone now that I did it.

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

yesican's picture

From what I understand she called my MIL's house, and the only time she gives us problems like that is when I have been around ss at MIL's. It is like it drives her crazy for me to be around him, I have nothing to do with ss and dh's family is always there. I have just decided to not go to the family events when ss is there, bm is off her rocker as it is already.
I just don't feel like ss is part of our blended family and I am really sick and tired of looking at his little smirking smile, all I think of is how he has caused so much trauma and I just want to scream and run. The kids got their spring pictures and I know that dh is going to want to put his up, and for some reason it is driving me crazy, but I don't know how to tell dh that I do not feel comfortable with all of the pics of ss up, I don't mind leaving a few up, we had antique pics of all the kids together done a couple of years ago and I am willing to leave those up but I don't want the individual ones up. But in alot of ways I feel really guilty for feeling that way because no matter how disgusted I am with ss I know that is dh's child.
"Love is strong yet delicate. It can be broken. To truly love is to understand this. To be in love is to respect this."