I need some suggestions

I haven't been a member here for very long and I really haven't posted much about the things I have to deal with on a daily basis. But I have come to a point in my life were I could really use some suggestions on what to do. I am the type of person who lets everything build up inside until I can't take it any longer and I feel as though I am at my breaking point. I have the stress of taking SD15 to therapy once a week, BS11 is failing 6th grade right now unless he makes a drastic change for the better, my father called me 2 nights ago and told me that he fell off of his semi truck and injured his leg so badly that he is going to be off work for several months & will cause the risk of him losing his business (my dad owns his own business, 1 truck), DH & I rarely get any alone time and that is partly b/c I don't trust SD15 to be home alone anymore, I am also the only one who makes sure that SD15 & BS11 get to any and all appointments.

B/C of all of the above, I feel as though I have lost myself. I feel myself shutting DH out, not b/c I want to. DH & I have no privacy at all. B/C we live in a 2 bedroom trailer and since SD15 moved in with us 7 months ago, we gave BS11 our bedroom and SD15 got BS11s old room. DH & I are stuck sleeping in the living room. So DH & I can't even carry on a private conversation about anything without SD15 hearing (her room is the closest to the living room). I feel myself being very bitchy to both SD15 & BS11 over the smallest things. (ie. today I found 2 glasses in SD15s bedroom & told DH that tonight this shit is gonna stop, b/c the rule is "no food or drink in bedrooms" and the 2 glasses still had drink in them, 1 milk & the other kool-aide. DH told me to relax & not flip out on SD very bad. But mind you BS11 doesn't do it at all.)

I have been trying to think of things to do to relax myself and due to weather and no money, I can't think of anything to do. I need some ideas of things to do to relieve my stress. FYI I am also not someone who reads for fun or relaxation. I can't get myself interested in reading to relax. So if anyone has some things I could try, please suggest them. I just want to be able to relieve some or most of my stress and be able to reconnect with DH & our kids without constantly coming down on them for the simplest things. Please help me!!

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That is something I will

That is something I will keep in mind. I use to tan once a week, but haven't done it in over a year. I may have to check into that. But I will have to keep that from SD15. B/C she may think that it is another thing that she can be involved in in my life.

I'll have to check and see

I'll have to check and see if there is one close where I do all my grocery shopping. And keep it to myself. Though I'd probably have to DH, b/c he would question what I am spending money on. I can never take a few $$ for myself to do anything without telling DH. B/C I don't work.

Have you tried journaling?

Have you tried journaling? Sometimes it's a really good outlet to say everything you're thinking and feeling. Might be hard to keep it from the rest of the family though, it seems like you aren't getting enough privacy as it is.

How about watching chick flicks or yoga? I know that sounds stupid, but Yoga is all about mental health and relaxation and physical health, and it's what I replaced cigarettes with. So it works!

I have tried journaling. I

I have tried journaling. I have my own laptop that no one else in my home uses and I have started a private journal on it. I also have to folder it is saved in hidden. Just so if anyone does use my laptop when I am not around, they don't see it. Even though I am getting my thoughts and feelings out, it has not been very helpful to journal them. B/C I still think about everything I write(type).

I don't know anything about Yoga, but may be something to look into.

Shell do you work? And why

Shell do you work? And why aren;t you having dad share the burden for running the kids around?

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards

No I do not work. I am a

No I do not work. I am a SAHM. DH can't help run the kids, b/c of his job. He is truck driver. He leaves at 5am and usually doesn't get home until 6 or 7 at night. So it is impossible for him to help with all the running with the kids. And to top it off with the running, we are making SD15 get a part-time job to help pay for the increase in car insurance & gas for vehicles for her to get her driver's permit. So then there will be more running added to my already hectic schedule.

Maybe a part time job for

Maybe a part time job for the mornings would help. For me- being a sahm really got me depressed, I felt a little purposeless if that makes sense. Maybe having something in your day that's yours will help, and the extra money- even if it's only a pittance always helps thing.

I stayed home with choochoo

I stayed home with choochoo for about 6months and I was so depressed. I felt good being there with him and it was rewarding all on its own but I still felt bad somehow. I was angry at everyone all the time, irritable,etc...
I felt so bad about myself.

I went back to work and felt worlds better having my own money again. It's an independence thing for me.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

I have been trying to find a

I have been trying to find a part-time job, but there is no one hiring where we live. I would have to drive over an hour for a part-time job and if I did that, I wouldn't have an extra $$ by doing that. And second, there are not very many places that would work around the schedule I have to keep b/c of the running both kids have.

But I continue looking for something part-time. B/C I also think that is part of my problem. B/C I feel so stressed & depressed from having to be at home 24/7, except for when I have to do all the running to appointments.

Sorry that you are going

Sorry that you are going through this Shell. I just wanted to send you some (((HUGS))).

Thanks!

Buy a begining YOGA video.

I may look into that. Thanks!

Thanks for the suggestions

Thanks for the suggestions crayon. I will definitely keep them in mind and give them a try.

pilates! a lil bit o

pilates! a lil bit o tanning...give yourself a mani-pedi(I LOVE doing my toes and making my feet all pretty and soft) an at home facial...I use the $1.99 self heating lava masks from the grocery store...then I do my eyebrows,shave my legs,do my waxing...then lotion myself up til I'm all soft smooth and glowing!

it is THE most relaxing routine. All while listening to one of those chill-out lounge CD's...ahhh just thinking about it makes me all calm and centered.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

Thanks for the suggestions.

Thanks for the suggestions. I am thinking about going to the store before everyone gets home and get some of these things and start doing them tomorrow. Since everyone will be home within an hour and the hectic evening will begin. lol

1.Get out and walk, hard,

1.Get out and walk, hard, really get the endorphins pumping.
2.Find a quiet space at a park or something and try meditation
3.Take up a craft like knitting, I find when my hands are busy and I am focused on a pattern I have to shut everything else out
3.Kick one of the kids out of a bedroom. Or consider rotating the extra bedroom back and forth between kids. I know you are trying to be fair by giving each of them a room but if mom and dad's relationship isn't happy then no one in the house is happy. It may be worth it for everyone's sanity.

I thought about taking a

I thought about taking a walk everyday, but I would still be thinking about everything while I'm walking. How do I keep myself from thinking about it while I'm walking. The closest park is half an hour away, but where we live is very quiet with very few neighbors. So I may try the meditation outside at home in our secluded area where we have camp fires. And plus we have 3 dogs and I hate leaving them at home. B/C they are so use to me being here, that when I leave they destroy things or have accidents in the house (even if they are walked around outside for 1/2 an hour before I leave). As far as the bedroom thing....before DH & I gave up our bedroom, we tried the alternating the 2nd bedroom between the 2 and b/c we have BS11 and SD15, it did not work like we had hoped. It was constant fighting, SD15 not respecting BS11s things and moving them where ever she felt like. So DH & I choose to give BS11 our room to give him back his own space.

Well here's the thing with

Well here's the thing with our living space.....We are in a contract for deed (renting-to-own) the place we are in. We went into this agreement before SD15 moved in with us and before we knew the reason behind why she was. The month after we signed the contract....SDs came for their summer visit and SD15 broke down and disclosed to us about the abuse her SF was doing to to her. But before SD moved in, our home was the perfect size for DH, myself, BS11, & our 3 dogs.

We were going to build on an addition (a bedroom for DH & I) with our tax return...but some other things have happened and we have to use our tax return to fix those things before we build a room. Plus we haven't even paid a year on our place and have 6 1/2 more years before it will be paid off and are to worried to build it just yet. B/C if something happens and we lose our home, we don't want to be out that extra money we spent building the room when it could have been used for something else. So we are fixing other things first and putting the room off until next year.

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I need some suggestions

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