The good news: my daughter had a beautiful baby girl a week ago! We are going to see her next week, since we live about 1000 miles away. My other daughter is flying in, too, and it will be the first time in over a year that I have seen my girls. I can't wait!

OD is 30 and she has a nice BF with a very supportive family. They bought her baby furniture, a new bed and opened a $1000 saving account for baby. It was one of those unplanned pregnancies but certainly a great joy to OD, BF, me and DH, YD, and BF's family.

My M is 77 and a widow. She is one of those stoic martyr types who was never affectionate. My F was critical and controlling but I did have a good relationship before he died. My M has shown no enthusiasm about the baby although she did sew some blankets. My B is living with her now since he left his wife and is unemployed.

We used to live in an adjacent state and I always had to go there. Several times a year, for over twenty years. Always guilted into it. My B didn't go to my old house for 8 years. My M has plenty of money and goes to see my S (and me) since we now live in the same state at least 2 times a year. Both my M and B can drive. BTW, my S's single daughter had a child at age 20 and she is doted on.

Anyway, I invited M to come to the gathering at OD's house while we are all there. It is about 4 hours drive. I understand that we may have bad weather and she really shouldn't go by herself. But ever since I brought it up, she is full of excuses. The latest was she didn't know what to do with the dogs. (hello, a kennel or a friend)

She told YD that and OD cried when she heard it. She feels so hurt that her grandmother would make such a lame excuse. M has done a lot for my B, why doesn't she tell him he has to take her to see her great-granddaughter? No, they would rather stay in their hermit hovel. And of course they expect US to come see THEM.

Anyway, I go back and forth between being angry and writing them off. Why do these people have to rain on what should be a happy time with their BS?

I guess I wrote this to see if other people also think this situation is screwed up.