OT-My friends husband may be going to jail. I don't know what to tell her.
One of my best friends is in kind of a delicate situation at the moment. Her and her husband have been married for a little over two years. She told me they had already started trying to have a baby, but as of yet, no baby. I don't think they've been trying for long.
About a year ago, they moved back to his home state. When he was younger (18-19 I think) he got into some trouble. He ended up doing a significant amount of damage to a hotel room while drunk. Shortly aftewards, he moved out of state. According to my friend, he was not aware of any criminal charges, but since moving back to his home state he is apparently just now finding out that felony charges were laid against him for Criminal Mischief, I think.
Anyways, they think the judge is going to throw the book at him, giving him 1-2 years of jail time and who knows how much probation. She thinks it's because the judge thinks he ran away from his problems and should be punished for them.
She called me freaking out because she does not know what to do. She loves her husband very much and as far as I can tell, he's been fairly good to her. She does not know whether she should stick it out with him, even if he is in jail for two years. She does not know whether she/they should continue to try to have a baby, even though he may be MIA for a while. She is 32 and is worried that her "fertile years" are ending soon. He is 35. She says she is ok with being a single parent for a while if she has to be, just that should would rather NOT be.
What would you do in her situation? I am completely at a loss for what to tell her. I want to tell her to just do what she thinks is best, but that really doesn't help any! I keep trying to imagine this situation like he was being deployed in the military. How do army wives handle situations like this when their husbands are going to be deployed for a year or more?
Please Please Please, do not judge them too harshly. He is not some kind of loser and is a pretty good person. She is my best friend and one of the most important people in my life.
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Hmm...maybe I could convince
Hmm...maybe I could convince her to move back here while/if he is in jail. Yay for me!
The only family she has right now near her is his family. I haven't met them, but they seem to get along well together.
Did your nieces/nephews miss out on not having their dad around? I keep wondering what kind of toll this would have on her IF she does get pregnant, IF he does go to jail for 1-2 years. How is she going to feel if he's not there for the birth? How is she going to feel that he's not there to go to the Dr appointments with her. To find out the sex of the baby. What about first words and steps, if he's there for a long time. I am so worried for her
I'm worried about my friend
I'm worried about my friend the most. I know the kids won't remember if their dad is gone the first couple of years, but I am afraid of the toll it will have on her. I know she is a strong woman, but it just worries me. I don't want her to get hurt!
My question is if he trashed
My question is if he trashed a hotel room why would he think that nothing would happen. He was 18-19 years old he should have known that there would be some punishment for that. On another note all you can do is be supportive.