Marriage Counseling. Have you been there and does it work?
I have finally gotten to the point that I told DH that we were going to take one last stab at saving our relationship and attend marriage counseling. I have found a counselor that specailizes in divorced/remarried couples therapy. Has anyone been through this and found it to work? We have the typical "second marriage issues" on his side. I am also divorced but my ex is a very realisitc man who understands the situation and respects my new husband. I know this sounds a bit too good to be true but it is. On the other hand, his exwife is crazy psycho and is a constant thorn in our marriage. DH is completely unable to stand up to her and constantly throws me under the bus. Can these issues be resolved with counseling?
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We tried it for about 2
We tried it for about 2 months. The counselor said our problems stem from his guilt daddy issues,MIL,and BM's unwillingness to let go of the control over skid and DH. She told us as a couple,we don't seem to have issues...it's just when those other things arise that everything gets screwed up. It was expensive and we really didn't have a lot of time to devote to hearing stuff we already knew but can't control
"Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it." *Anais Nin*
It all depends on the people
It all depends on the people involved. It worked for a bit for us. Only b/c the councillor was able to make dh understand things in a way that I couldn't. Not he's going in to therapy for himself. We'll see how that goes.
The thing that makes me the
The thing that makes me the most skeptical about it is that my DH is a therapist (child/adolescent). He should know pretty well how to deal with things of this nature but when it comes to our family he is clueless!
reminds me of that saying
reminds me of that saying about doctors and nurses make the worst patients:) Maybe he can't see it bc he's too close to the situation...
"Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it." *Anais Nin*
exactly! Which is why i'd
exactly! Which is why i'd never marry a gyn
"Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it." *Anais Nin*
Let me tell you. I work for
Let me tell you. I work for a mental health center, and the therapists (I love them all) give some great advice and techniques, etc... But sometimes they have a hard time doing themselves. We are all human and there may be others who know more or know another way to do it. I think it is admirable for him to be willing to talk to someone else too.
I recommend it. If for no other reason than the what if's. You both can say you did your best to resolve things.
Personally, I recommend to EVERYONE--those getting married for first time, third time, with kids, w/o kids, to have PREMARITAL counseling. It can sort out some of the issues that come up, before they come up. We did, and knew what ground both were coming from, and knew place of all our kids in marriage (blended family w/6 kids total, all physical custody w/us) and how to handle issues. But is never too late to get outside advice
Thanks for all of the great
Thanks for all of the great advice guys! Its getting so complicated but I see where StepAside is coming from. I do have a lot of resentment about the way he has handled situations in the past that makes me blow up at the slightest thing when it come to BM! Also I have given up so much for DH and his kids and it just seems like he wants me to give and give with nothing in return. I am keeping an open mind about the counseling but I amlost feel as if I am just going through the motions. Thanks again!!!! BTW u are hilarious SmileForMe.
My FH and his ex went to
My FH and his ex went to marriage boot camp but it didn't work because she didn't listen or try to change. You have to want it. She is also a very black and white type, plus too stupid to be able to put herself in someon else's shoes.
My FH and I see a counselor and it's helping a lot. We both make an effort to see things from the other persons perspective and change the things that can be changed. If you both want to try and make it worth, then I advise you give it a try.