New Here *HAD TO FIND A PLACE TO VENT*
First off I am a new member to this site but am glad I have a place to vent my frustrations, with others going through similar situations. I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now, he has 4 kids 3 are all over the age of 18 so I don't really have to worry about raising them thats already done but the 4th is a little boy who will be 10 this month. I have a 4 yr old daughter. I only recently in the past couple months met his kids including the 10ss its like he wanted to hide me from them we have a 18yr(I am 24 he is 42) age difference between us which I think has to do with why he kept me away which annoys me but I'm past it now he didn't even tell me about the 3 older kids until about a month ago. As for the 10ss when I first met him I thought he was a sweetheart and very intelligent he was talking about global warming and the state of the economy, he played with my daughter very well and even won her a prize at a theme park(very thoughtful). Well after time past he told his dad he really likes me and I look like Megan Fox, so I can't imagine what he went home and told his mother after he met me. Well his dad has only been getting him one day a week because that is all bm is now allowing. SS10 has been getting into trouble at school just this week he took some pharamone spray to school in his bag when his mom sent him to his room he climbed out his window into the backyard and was playing with matches then climbed to the neighbors roof. The 4 of us are supposed to go to the circus this Sun. so I asked bf if he told ss about it he said he did but his response wasn't what he was looking for... I asked okay what was his response he just said not that excited because of the company that will be there...I right away say oh because I'm going to be there he responded no because your daughter will be there and he thinks she is a BRAT! Ok fine my daughter is 4 and can be bratty she has a dad thats never done anything for her so I've raised her with only the help of my parents. But he told him this 2 wks ago he also told his mom this and his grandma and bf is justnow telling me. I am very upset over this and have no idea how to go about handling this, I just paid $200 for us to go to the circus and all he can say is my daughter is a brat and brodcast it to everyone. I'm not sure if its a jealousy thing and he's just picking at her because she can't stick up for herself. Anytime he's around I treat him and my daughter the same I spoil them both like crazy.
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Comments
Welcome! I'm glad that you
Welcome! I'm glad that you are here. It sounds like we'll be hearing from you on a regular basis!
How did you react when you found out that he had other kids that he didn't even tell you about? I bet that news came as a huge shock.
My husband just turned 48 and I'm 30. So I know about the age difference thing. But my DH never hid me from his kids, or vise versa so I really can't advise you to much there, other than to just tell you it's ridiculous for him to do that.
I'm sure it is jealousy on your SS's part. What did his dad say to him when he told him that your daughter is a brat and that's why he's not to happy about going?
Thank you! Yeah it looks
Thank you! Yeah it looks like it may begin to be a regular basis! :? I was totally shocked thought he was just kidding around at first then he pulled out there pictures and I was kind of still in disbelief more so because his oldest is 22 and I'm 24 :O I went through being mad and upset since he hid them from me but they all knew about me except the 10ss. He told 10ss that she is only 4 and everyone is raised differently, and she is the reason he's not looking forward to Sun. he said she cries too musch and his cousins that are around her age are brats but will listened after there disciplined where I haven't ever disciplined my daughter especially in the presence of other people.
Welcome! I think ss might
Welcome!
I think ss might likely just be jealous of the fact that BF is giving your daughter attention.....
Have YOU spoken to SS about why he feels this way? Maybe they had some sort of arguement??? Silly, but it happens.
I definetly think you are
I definetly think you are absolutely right about him giving my daughter attention. No I havent spoke to ss about this because I have not seen him since I was told about it and my bf never talks to him on the phone when I am around, he doesn't want his son to know how much time he actually spends with my daughter and I so he always calls when were not around so my daughter won't be in the background.
I had a situation similiar
I had a situation similiar to this with DH's daughter and my daughter. His daughter thinks my daughter is a brat sometimes. DH doesn't like to correct his daughter about this, he just kinda turns a blind eye. But, it's going to be VERY important for your DH to correct his son about this. Otherwise, your daughter will always feel like she's getting picked on, and that it is being allowed. Also, the SS will think this is acceptable behavior and it will continue if not get worse. Our daughters go thru periods where they get along fine and play, and times where they argue constantly, but unless the behavior is called out on and corrected, it will create animosity between the two.
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“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”
I do understand where your
I do understand where your coming from I allowed them to play alone together outside during the football game last week and theres probably things that went on I didn't know about. I guess I'll have to watch them closer if there going to both play together or send them to do seperate activities. And my daughter is definetly a tattle tail when it comes to sharing toys and what not so he probably didnt like that very much.
Also, why did you pay $200
Also, why did you pay $200 for the circus? That's alot of money for a circus, and anything that is a significant amount of money that you all will be doing together should be shared in cost, IMO.
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“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”
Well we trade off on paying
Well we trade off on paying for things usually he offered to give me money but I told bf he could just pay for parking, lunch and the things while we are there.
Kids can say some hurtful
Kids can say some hurtful things from time to time. I'm sure it was jealousy on his part.
My son is very jealous of my SD, don't ask me why cause I don't know. And he says some off the wall hateful shit at times. I used to think she picked on him but now days my rose colored glasses are off! I'm not saying thats happening in your situation, but 4 yr old vs 10 yr old is such a huge difference in kids. Ya know what I mean?
Hang in there girl, and enjoy the circus!