Let the PAS war begin!
It has begun.
We have not seen step-demon (SD13) since Father's Day Weekend, and she has not come over on any of her scheduled weekends. DH gets an email from step-demon's email account that was obviously written by UberSkank, stating that she's too busy, has plans or can't come over that particular weekend. She has missed out on her family visits, fun day trips and great BBQ's with our friends.
Last Friday UberSkank sends DH a text stating "I NEED you to BUY step-demon stuff for school. She will be coming over next weekend to see you."
:jawdrop:
Really??? Can we pretty please buy that little POS school supplies and what ever else she needs? Especially after verbally disemboweling us, telling us what crappy parents we are, telling us the paycut DH took was a bunch of BS and having step-demon's court appointed attorney tell my DH he is not allowed to discipline step-demon for skipping school for the 4th time?
And do you think we missed the veiled threat in your text you stupid cow? No money, no visit.
DH was furious. Nothing for weeks except to tell him step-demon wasn't coming over. The first real communication from them is a demand from UberSkank for money. He told me "If I give step-demon money or buy her anything, I look like a PW'd jerk. If I don't buy my own kid things she needs, I look like an a$$hole to my kid. What the hell do I do with this? I'm screwed either way! I keep flashing back to what she wrote in that letter to us, telling me what a lousy father I was to her and that I lied to her about money. Now both of their hands are out, waiting for me to give in. Again."
After a long discussion, DH decided not to help them out. He said, "I will not let my own kid piss down my leg then expect me to turn the other way while she pisses down the other side. She chose her own way despite my best efforts to guide her onto a better path. Step-demon has some hard life lessons to learn, it's too bad she's learning them at 13 instead of 20."
DH emailed UberSkank back and let her know he couldn't comply with her wishes, but still let her know we looked foward to and expected to see step-demon the following weekend. He said watch.....in about three days I'll get an email from step-demon telling me she can't come over again.
The very next day he gets an email from step-demon's account. Except, step-demon obviously didn't write this email (all of the words were spelled correctly), her lovely mother did. But she let her Dad know she was way too busy preparing for school to come see him. Unless of course he is able to help her out, but she's just going to assume he won't.
DH said, can we read her like a book or what? He has decided he will not tolerate these games any longer. He will pay his CS, he will let step-demon know she's welcome to come over for her scheduled time. But if UberSkank makes any more demands or plays any more hostage games, she's in for the one finger salute from DH. He is done with this BS! 
"Be like a duck, calm on the surface but paddling like the dickens underneath"
Michael Caine
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Comments
Sounds familiar
This sound all so familiar. I'm so tired of forking out money - but when it comes to just spending time with the kids - the are too busy up BM's but. I totally know what you mean. I think I have a harder time dealing with it than my husband.
When step-demon ran away
When step-demon ran away last spring, she left a venomous two page letter for us to read. One section was devoted to the following and I quote (with spelling corrections :))....
"And this pay cut you told me about is a bunch of CRAP! How can you still buy food and stuff if you don't have any money to take me shopping? If you can't take me shopping in the stores I WANT to shop in, then I'm going to LIVE with my mom. She said she can take me where ever I want to go!"
Isn't she the sweetest little thing you just ever did see? :evil:
I have to say I'm impressed with DH for standing on his principles and not giving in to UberSkank and step-demon. It's bothering him not to do for his kid, but he thinks it's time for a little tough love to come her way.
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine
If our situation were
If our situation were different, DH would have offered to help. DH told me UberSkank used to do this all the time when step-demon was younger. Basically holding her hostage until he gave into her demands. And he did. This time around, things are very different and DH decided he is not going to be manipulated by his ex or his daughter. He feels if he doesn't set a standard and stand up for himself now, then step-demon will never learn to respect him.
Thank you for the book suggestion though, I think it would be good reading for us regardless. I am opening up a web page right now to our library and reserving it!
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine
Okay....book is now
Okay....book is now reserved! Thank you again for the suggestion! I really appreciate it!
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine