I am going to report some good news.

First, Skid took my advice and decided to move in with her two friends from school/work instead of her long time BFF (who has been flaking on her for months). In fact, flakey friend hasn’t even solidified any plans and keeps changing her story. Skid was anxious to get settled for work/college and I advised her to take her other friends up on their offer. I told her, opportunities sometimes only come around once. I think it would be wise to move in with friends you know, instead of taking a chance on answering a “roommate wanted” ad if things with BFF don’t work out down the road.

Second, she sent a text to H on Friday asking if she could speak to him. It was during our counseling session, so he didn't read it until afterwards. We usually chat for half an hour or so after our session, which is when he told me Skid wanted to talk to him. He asked "What do you think she wants?" I laughed and I said, well....after our conversation on Tuesday, I'm going with money for the apartment. He said he'd call her when he got home. I said in case I'm wrong; let me know if it's an emergency. Otherwise we'd talk on Sunday as usual.

He sent me a text later, telling me that I was right about the money and that he told her he had to talk to me about it first. I said did you want to discuss it now? He said, nope....it can wait until Sunday (because of schedules and time difference, we speak three nights a week).

Jaw on floor. What?? Hero Dad didn't immediately go running to the bank? Where is my H and what did you do with his body??

Fast forward to Sunday. H and I had our usual call, which was also his birthday, and we talked about everything except Skid. Finally at the end he said "Well, let's talk about what the kid asked me. She wants to borrow money for move-in costs and said she would pay us back at $50 a month." I asked how much are we looking at for a loan. "She said about $600, it's for first and last, and her portion is $300 a month. But she's getting me a real total. What do you think?"

I asked H how much are you willing to lend her knowing she may not pay you back? He replied "Funny you should say that because I told her two things. I said, if Shaman agrees to loan you money, you’re not getting a dime until you get the car fixed (flakey BFF ran into with her car, skid has been putting off getting it repaired). Once I have proof from BFF’s dad that car is in the shop, then we’ll send you a check. The other thing is if you don’t pay us back then we have two separate problems. One is if you don’t pay back the $600 loan, then we will never consider lending you money in the future (again only if Shaman agrees to this) and two, not paying this back would not bode well for the car and insurance you’re supposed to start paying at the beginning of the year.”

Skid said she understood and promised to pay it back if we agreed to loan it to her. She also knows that if she doesn’t pay for either, then not only won’t we not trust her again. But H will take the car from her and sell it.

I was impressed. H put stipulations on the loan instead of just agreeing to it. This is a HUGE turn around for him. He wouldn’t have thought twice about just agreeing to it, like he did when he co-signed the loan on her car at the beginning of the year (without discussing it with me at all).

H and I mulled things over and I responded with “How about you agree to the $600, but I’m willing to go as high as $750 only because she might have a security deposit or other expenses. $600 gets paid off in 12 months, $750 in 15 months. Go ahead and tell her we said yes. Please don’t just offer the $750, that is only my cap on a loan to her without you and I having to discuss it further. But, if she needs more than $750 please call me to discuss, because we may have to rework the terms or put it in writing.”

H said this is perfect and he really doesn’t want to loan her more than $600 and that I was being generous if she needs or asks for more. He will tell her we agree to lend her the $600.

So….this is the first test/hurdle for H since we started in counseling and nearly divorced early this year. He passed it with flying colors.