Do you ever feel like you are in the movie Single White Female?????
Let me explain the question.. as I am sure a majority of you remember this movie from the 90s...
About 5 yrs ago, I bought a house. I was not yet married to my dh, but we had been dating, and my 1 bedroom condo wasnt big enough for my dh and skids to visit... so I bought a fixer upper and sold my beloved condo... about a year later, bm bought a house....
About 1 yr ago, I bought a brand new car, as my beloved car of 9 yrs was just costing too much to continue to repair, I reluctantly got the new car... about 6 mths after that, bm bought a new car...
Just a little under 3 mths ago, I had my first child... I found out this weekend, that bm is now expecting in Dec. We only told them in mid January.. she has 3 children... the first two are dh's, they are twins and are 10 1/2 yrs old.. they have a sister from bm w/her new dh, who will be 5 this summer...
ANYONE!?!?! anyone feel like no matter what they do, they will be copied?
I am just frustrated.. my fav.. she tried to tell me that she knew I was having problems getting pregnant, and so decided to wait til I got pregnant before she and new hubby tried.. ummm.. yeah.. because if there is one thing that a person would put on hold in their life for someone that they detest and hate.. its having another child. I think it was more of.. SHE is having a child???? I WANT ANOTHER CHILD!!!
Didnt tell her that we already plan on having another child, and are not using birth control and hoping that nature takes its course!
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Wow..
I thought I was the only one with this issue. My DH's ex has straightened her hair like mine, is now wearing heels (after she has sworn for years that she hates them and will never wear them), dressing nicer, suddenly is changing the rules in her house to match my rules for my kids, and she recently found out that I'm pregnant...so we would not be surprised if she got pregnant too. This coming from a woman that supposedly can't stand the ground I walk on....
You make her feel inferior so she's trying to "keep up with the Joneses" so to speak. And copying is the sincerest form of flattery!! Let her keep obsessing over your life. It's irritating, but you could always dye your hair fuschia pink and see what she does....
Pnut~
we were obviously thinking the same thing at the same time, lol
Life'sABeach
Great minds think alike!!
Yep
BM likes to play "keeping up with the Jones'" with us too. Or, tries to "one up" us on things. Like, I got a new car, she got 2. With no job or income.
DH and I got married, she got "engaged" to her long time milksop of a BF 2 weeks later. She dumped him shortly thereafter and kept the large, but clearly from a distance, full of flaws ring.
She lives in a house similar to ours now. She even started dressing like me for a while. I colored my hair dark, she did too. I went light again, she did too.
It's never ending. But they say, "imitation is the finest form of flattery" she wishes she could have a life as good as mine. Sucks for her.
Oh.. good, I am not alone!!
Oh.. good, I am not alone!!
I cant tell you how pissed I am about the pregnancy thing.. all the rest were laughable.. but really.. she cant afford the 3 she has, and of course she has already quit her part time job that she managed to hold onto for about 6 mths to 9 mths. She doesnt work when pregnant, nor will she go back to work now for years!!!
Yet, I have to start work again soon.. and I dont want to.. I WANT to be able to stay home w/MY child.. but, its not in the finances.. and I am a realist, and know what I need to do for my family.
isnt it nice
how some women have the luxury of staying home w their children while WE cant and have to go to work to support ours since our DHs are funding that lifestyle thru CS???? AND though BMs can choose to stay home and have no income potential to count towards CS, BFs cant???????
sorry im bitter
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Bella~
I am in the bitter boat with you. I have the exact same issue with BM. Wont' get a job, ever.
My DH's ex refuses to work
My DH's ex refuses to work too....which I don't understand because she's a single mother. She went from living with my hubby to her current boyfriend (Oh sorry, as soon as she went for primary custody of their kids, he became her fiance)...so he supports her. But yet she'll call my husband and complain about how she's not an "independent woman" and needs more child support.
Uh...last time I checked child support was for the kids, not for you to be independent from your current boyfriend. :?
haha SO THERE
That is so funny must be a trend we bought a dodge pickup and bm bought one. I got preganant (however she did not know) and three months later she was pregnant. We bought a new house She bought a new house... what I didn't know this was a compitition????? lol
A competition that they seem
A competition that they seem to be two short steps behind on!! lol
yeah bm's are nuts
Mine got herself a new suv after I bought mine. What was weird was we both used to have the same kind of car--kinda a freaky coincidence I guess from long before I knew fh or her... Anyways, she got the same suv as me only the BIGGER version, cuz she's got to have the biggest and best.
And then when fh and i first startd dating, she had short hair and cougar clothes(like for attracting young guys)...like professional stuff with highheel boots and whatnot...kind of age-appropriate but trying to be sexy. Well after she saw me, and I'm quite a bit younger, she started dressing much sexier. Suddenly she's wearing clothes like me--strapless, backless, fearless stuff showing off her 'tramp stamp'...it was quite unnerving.lol
Now she's growing her hair long like mine and lightening it since I'm blonde and she's a dark auburn...again, creepy much?
Whats even weirdest of all is she doesnt even like my fh--she likes to be mean as hell to him, so why she's trying to compete w/me is beyond me...
I think they're all just insecure. Like I've said a million times...she cheated and then walked out on her kids and h. After they divorced I met him a couple of years later...so it's not like they hadn't been done and over. And I've said to everyone that I don't want her kids--she's the mom...if I wanted kids, I'd have my own instead of stealing someone's half-grown ones.lol
Nuts I tell ya...lol
I didn't even read everyone's responses.
But my answer is:
EVERY FREAKING DAY OF MY LIFE!
But then, who cares. The psycho can stalk me all she wants. She can watch DH kiss, hug, hold, love me. Have at it!
~All you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust~
I think I would have to say
You must be feeling that way THIS week for sure.
Off topic but...
you had your child 3 months ago, and you guys are already trying? wow, that is not fair for the baby nor your body/mind... that's bizarre... oh well.. in any event, good luck! hopefully ur baby stays healthy AND you have another healthy baby...
take care.
My doctor said it wouldnt be
My doctor said it wouldnt be the worst thing.. and given my age and how long it took to get pregnant w/this baby that I should not use contraceptive if it is my desire to have 2 children. He said that it is perfectly fine, and that people have been doing that for centuries.. before birth control got so good. That is why they call it Irish Twins if you have 2 babies w/in a year of each other.
I dont think that it will be unfair to my baby. I think that he will benefit from having a sibling close in age, that he can grow up with and play with. He will still get my love, its not like w/a new baby that I would stop loving the current baby.
I was asking for opinions on the ex being psycho and shit.. not on my reproductive choices!
Mos definitely
BM mimics most things that I do or have.
She has made issue with the size of my breasts for like EVER. The minute she came into a little money what do you guess was the 1st thing she did? YEP! Ran out and bought breasts. Only after obssessing over mine for years.
DH bought me a WHITE Yukon XL. Didn't care the color, only considered the price. BM complained and complained. Well a year and a half later she ran out and bough her a new car...the make doesn't matter as it is a Nissan Altima...but...she requested WHITE. Maybe coincidental, but highly unlikely if you know her.
DH and I were both in school working on our degrees. BM has said for years that she wanted to get her degree. She complained to SD14 who was like 10 at the time that it was DHs fault that she got pregnant with SD because she didn't want to have kids...she only wanted to go to school. Forget the fact that there was a baby BEFORE SD that died shortly after birth. Well guess what BM is doing now? YEP! She is in school...to be a NURSE! YIKES!!!
Well when DH and I got custody of the kids I had to sell my 2/1 condo so that we could buy a bigger house as our family was now 5 FT. Shortly after moving in, we went and got a pet for the kids as they were young (7 and 5 and BD14). We got a boy miniature schnauzer. About 6 months later, we went and got a girl too. Well BM has a roommate that was looking to get a pet. Guess what kind of pet did BM convince her roomie to get? YEP! BLACK MINIATURE SCHNAUZERS. Oh did I mention that both of ours are black?
If I go out and buy something she tries to one up it. I've been carrying Coach purses that DH and I find on clearance. I have about 5 of them. I even have the designer Coach eyeglasses. BM always carried no names or Fendi. Well Fendi went out with the 90s. BUT guess what designer bags and shoes are now her signature staple? You betcha! COACH! I must find a new label. UGH!
I have some FIERCE Ecko Red boots that are BEYOND sexii! Ugh. They make me horny thinking about them. OH please forgive me. I know TMI. Well guess who is now wearing Ecko Red.
I give up having anything as my own. Maybe I should start wearing crappy stuff. NOPE. No can do. I guess it should be flattery that she jocks my style...but it is not. I never want to look like her. I mean DH says that I take it too far. I want NOTHING to do with her. He was admiring the Nissan Maxima and I told him that we would NEVER buy a NISSAN!!! He said you mean an Altima. I said...NO! You heard me right a NISSAN. LOL. He said Babe I think you are taking this a bit too far. NOT! Want nothing in common with her but the kids.
Anyone can take the easy way out and blame others. BUT it takes a a person of character to take a look at one's
self and actions and own responsibility for their part. ~ ME ~ }:-P
Prin
You always make me laugh. BM wishes she could afford the kind of cars DH and I drive (mine wasn't new when I bought it, but it's still an expensive car).
Luckily BM has no idea what real taste is, so she always ends up looking stupid. She scours consignment shops for things, but they are rarely cute. I think she has one cute top I saw her wearing the second time I had ever seen her. That's it. Just one. She tries to wear SD14's clothes sometimes and it is not pretty. She is like a 6/8 and SD is a size 0/1.