Where to begin! I'll be brief. Stats: married 10 yrs, together 12. Had two stepboys since they were 4 & 5 yrs old. ExWife dropped off both boys at my doorstep when he and I moved in together 3 mths after mtg. We had them for 6 mths fulltime, then mutually agreed to every other week. She has mental problems: Bipolar, Depressive, etc. Tried to kill herself 4 times. Went to court for full custody on last attempt. Got them for 6 months, then stupid court reverted to joint custody. Did the whole counseling thing, etc. I had my our little girl 6 yrs ago. 3 yrs ago, youngest decides to go live w/mom full-time b/c I stress schoolwork and structure in our lives. BM is opposite: wants to be their pal and doesn't care about school (completed 6th grade--that's it). The oldest lived with us and he has ADD and dyslexia. He started not wanting to do school/homework and we fought with him about it for last year. Friday, he threatened to "beat the crap out of me" because he was tired of getting punished for not doing his school stuff. He said he loved me SO many times and that he wanted me to adopt him when he turned 18. His mother called him to curse him out several time b/c he didn't want to see her b/c she told him he might not be his father's son!!!! So after ALL this, and my devoted 12 years (money and time), he "snap" just like that goes and lives with his mother. Of course, we packed his stuff he bought and told him we were kicking him out (to trump him) for threatening me!She bought him new clothes, a new cell phone, and will probably get him ANYTHING else he wants. He will be 17 yrs old in 2 weeks. I feel like I was betrayed by my stepson. My husband did little to back me up, unless I asked him to, and it always appeared that I was the one making all the decicions about school. He left it up to me to do the "raising" and I accepted it because I loved them like my own, treated them JUST like my own. Now, I have this feeling of betrayal and feel like I don't know when if ever I will be able to look my son (see, there I go again---STEPSON) in the face again. I am SO disappointed in him. The only bright spot was when she called my house, I was finally free to tell her how I felt and told her to go to F**King hell! That felt good after holding it in for 12 yrs for the kids' sake. I was stupid enough to try and befriend her and help her when she was struggling with her mental issues. Can anyone tell me what to do next? The youngest boy wants to come and visit us, but I feel it's to fish for information. We changed the oldest's room to a guest room and all his stuff is packed away (we couldn't look at the room the way it was knowing he left us). I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest. When I hear of all the things she's getting him, I feel like he's just like her: easily bought. I don't know what to do, what to think, and of course, this is having serious consequences with my husband and myself. I forgot I bought dishwashing liquid and left it in our backyard. Why? I don't know. Weird stuff like that. I seem to be going thru some motions and want to cry all the time. Why!?!?!?! Please, someone tell me that I did something right and tell me what to think about this BITCH who for 12 years treated her son like crap and now she has him!!!!!!!