I told DH on Monday that my mom was coming over Tuesday to use our washer/dryer and that she was going to do some cleaning. (She has done this plenty of times before, no issues).

So DH makes comments- oh my mom should come over and clean too. :? Okay your mom lives 6 hours away.

Then it was- Why does she have to come over and clean? Maybe MSD should come over and clean. :?

I'm thinking- MSD who stole from me and put her hands on me who you haven't talked to in over 2 years? You want her to come over and clean?

So I asked if he had a problem with my mom using our washer/dryer. He said no that it was totally fine but she doesn't need to be cleaning. I'm like well she asks for things to do while she's waiting on her clothes. I leave her a list. If she doesn't do them then I have to do them because it's not like DH is going to help me do them. Not sure what the big deal is. Would he have a problem if I hired a housekeeper?

So then it turns into well your mom can come over and clean :? but my kids can't even come over.

Okkkkkaaayyyy... I see where this is going. Well DH has my mom done something to offend you? Has she been disrespectful to you? Has she stolen from you? Has she put her hands on you? Has she sent you messages being rude to you?

Oh no... she hasn't? Oh she's been nothing but kind and loving to you. Okay...

So I go over it again as I always do.

SS- he comes over when he needs/wants something. No issues.

YSD- she came over the other day and I didn't say anything about it. Even though she had just had words with me and she showed up when we had guests without even calling ahead. But whatever, she came over.

OSD-I don't like her and would prefer to not be around her.

But if you want YSD and OSD to come over I think there needs to be some sort of discussion. They have been very disrespectful to me and I think that warrants some kind of conversation. You expect that of BS, correct? Oh yes you do, well don't you think I deserve that some respect when it comes to your kids in my home?

I ask him- do you think MSD should be coming over? Are you ready to have a talk with her about what happened when she put her hands on me? He's like No, she was wrong and she doesn't need to come over. :?

I told him... if you really really want your kids to come over then invite them over but give me the courtesy of a heads up. That is all I ask. But if you think this is going to be all kittens and rainbows you are wrong. Your kids are who they are. They have shown us they have no problem being disrespectful to me, even in my own home. So if that happens you better think long and hard how you are going to respond because if it was like before that didn't work and it almost ended our relationship.

To which he says- well it's not like they have to come over. They are grown. Doing their own thing. They act just like BM.

:? :? :?

DH wants his kids to come over. But on his terms. When he wants. He knows deep down if he opens it back up that it won't just be a visit here and there. It's going to be give them an inch and they will want a mile.

DH wants his kids to come over but he wants them to be like the little kids that he remembers. Not the PAS adults that act like BM.

DH wants his kids to come over but he wants me to play hostess. He doesn't want to actually put in any work.

DH wants his kids to come over but if there are any issues he wants me to just suck it up "because it's not like they will come over a lot".

We did touch on the fact that I have a hard time with the girl skids and their behaviors towards me and their behaviors in general (besides the fact that I love myself and have standards on how I will be treated)because they are not my kids, I don't really know them that well, 95% of my interactions with them have been negative and I don't have a bond with them. He said well even if they were crackheads I'd still be okay with them in my home.

Well okay then...

So we shall see if he plans on inviting them over. I'm guessing no. It requires too much work and energy.