I'm Feeling a Little Guilty

So I gave the responsibilities that come with raising an 11-year old boy back to his father. It's been 5 days now and I have done nothing more than take SS to school in the mornings. My BF picks him up and watches him for the evening while I have some relaxing time.

Now here's where my guilt is creeping in. My boyfriend works a full-time job, now leaves work and rushes to pick SS up from after-school program, comes home and doesn't get alone time (his son is very demanding of attention).

And just yesterday SS went to the nurse and she thought he had pink eye so I was called asking if I would go pick him up. I told the nurse I would call his father and see what he wanted to arrange. I got ahold of BF and he said he would call BM to pick up the kid. BM did pick him up and took him to the doctor but then she wanted to drop him off at my place at 2:30. Now take into consideration that it was her day to pick SS up from after-school program and spend the evening with him. I had a nail appointment and said I wasn't going to be home to let SS in. So my BF says it's ok, he'll just have to pick him up from her friend's apartment after he gets out of work. I know this is a lot of traffic, it's gonna take him at least 30-40 minutes to pick up his son from work then the drive home is another 30-40 minutes from there. This all happened because BM didn't want to stick to the schedule and expected me to drop my plans to cater to her comfort. I refused and so her response was to make my BF drive through traffic to get the kid.

I told my boyfriend that he needs to force her to either stick to her days and times or take the kid from her and let her live her life. He is going to file custody papers next week, finally.

I'm just tired of all our arguments being centered around her not following through on her visitations and financial obligations.

He is also paying a bill of hers that's in his parents name because she says she doesn't have the money to pay it. I want a house and I want to know we can get one in the near future but he's still paying HER bills. I don't know what to do.

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Don't feel guilty, it's not

Don't feel guilty, it's not your fault, right now it's about setting boundries for yourself. Your BF needs to confront BM about not changing the schedule, you need consistency, In time things can be changed if you want but right now its really important that you shape your boundries and not feel guilty

True, you are both right. I

True, you are both right. I am setting my boundaries and it just feels a little strange. I have always been the one to do for others way more than for myself and now it's a little strange to take a step back. But I know I have to do it.
Before I wanted nothing more than for BM to do us a favor and vanish off the face of the earth. Now that I see how my BF is doing it pretty much on his own, I just want her to step up to the responsibility or give up her son leagally (she's already "given him up" to us about 3 times now).
I would have no problem stepping up and helping if BM was out of the picture, but she's not and she never will be apparently. So until the day she dies, I vowed not to take on her responsibilities. And if my BF doesn't like it or thinks I'm lazy for not helping him then I'm sorry.

Why can't grown ass women act grown and take care of their kids without all the drama and games? Ugh, I know if I was a BM I would totally understand and not be difficult. I would be the best ex-wife in the world! I just hate these women who say that they are mature and then act like children. Why can't they just disappear?!