I have heard it is easier to get a court to change the order if they are moving a school level - Middle to High school for example. 

However, if SD has gone to school in one district this whole time and BM doesn't agree to the move, I wouldn't hold my breath of SD coming to live with you for school purposes- with the exception of you being willing to provide all of the transportation to and from school daily on BM's weeks/Days. 

Maybe after a year of that you can do change of circumstances and that you are no longer able to provide the transportation and see if you can get primary residential. That would be tough but I feel like the court wouldn't want to move her schools a 2nd time in 2 years. Who knows... 

I wish school zones made a difference in custody, but it doesn't seem like they do outside of initial custody proceedings. 

It would be helpful if you'd update your profile with the ages of all the kids involved.

1+ hour round trip is a huge burden on a kid, and the parents too for that matter.  Not only for everyday, but for friendships and sleepovers and dances as well.  I doubt you'd keep 50/50.  It's highly unlikely a judge would reward DH for creating this hardship by giving him custody.  It would probably be cheaper to send your own child go to kindergarten and first grade in the "bad" school, and then private school until SD ages out.

I'm not totally clear on whether the schools in your area are the same ones that BM's address would have.  Sometimes it can be different based on county lines etc.. Like when I had a house that was on property that was split into two counties... Someone would go to the school in the county that the house was.. even though the other county's school was better and closer.. just the way it would have worked.

But, assuming that the school is the same for you and BM where you live now.. and part of moving reasoning would be to get SD into a better school district. 

I'm sure you realize that if you move SD into a school district that is not the same as BM's district that transportation when she is with BM would be a problem that would need to be resolved.  

You understand that BM will be unlikely to want to give up her 50% custody.. BUT, she is also not likely to be on board with doing transportation during the school week when it is her 50% time either.  That will mean that your DH (or you) would need to figure out how that works logistically.  Add to that the complexities that come up with school activities.. extra curriculars.. friends etc.. that will be 30-40 minutes away from SD  50% of her time due to custody split.  

AND... the extra wear and tear on SD herself when she would be witth mom having to factor in an extra hour to hour and a half of transportation time on top of her homework etc.. 

It's logistically not ideal and you may find that the quality of her education suffers from the extra commute etc..

So... is the move just for the school district?  Are there other benefits that you and he would get that might make it worthwhile?  Because you could go to all the trouble of moving and find that BM is adamant about her staying in her current school district and just that it's a "better" one where you are going may not be enough to take to the bank with court.

In our state, as long as you live within 99 miles of the other parent, you can maintain 50/50 and you don't have to get permission to move from the other parent. Your arrangement just might go to every other weekend visitation and maybe dinner one night per week (if it isn't already this way). Plus if your CO was entered based on 25 minutes, and you only live 5 minutes away currently, moving 30-40 minutes is only is only adding 10 to 20 minutes to the original CO distance. I would check into your states guidelines regarding "long distance custody" to see if a mileage stipulation applies.

Going to do four hours of transportation per day.  Picking up DD at BM drive her to school and back to BM at night.  Do he work?   He expects you to do it. ?  Do you live where it snows. So it will be an eight hour drive.  

It sounds like since you are looking at your DD's interests as well.. and the family would benefit from the larger home in a potentially nicer neighborhood.. that moving may be a good option all things considered.

BUT.. your DH has to accept that the result of the move could be a change to his custody from 50/50 to more of an EOWE model with some longer breaks.. it also could mean he would have more child support obligation if the shift in time is significant enough.  I guess there is still a chance that BM would be up for SD attending in his district.. but you know the reality is she will likely fight it.. and would not want to be in a position where your move costs her time or money.

Is your DH ok with the idea of seeing his daughter less? Is he ok with the possibility of going from 50% to 20%/30% custody? You're ok with it but it seems that *he* is not entirely on the same page. In his position, *I* wouldn't be ok with it, especially if he is the better parent and BM is not completely mentally stable. Form *his*perspective, he has to consider what's in both of his daughters' best interest.

Quick story: my mom's best friend's son (we'll call him P) and his XW (we'll call her R) had a CO giving them 50/50 custody with the stipulation that BOTH parents had to live in the school district.

R gets a new BF who is on probation and isn't supposed to leave his county, got caught at her place in different county, and was hauled off back to his county with the threat he'd be in jail if he did it again. So what did R do? She packed her and the kids up and moved to an entirely different county and enrolled the kids in school there.

Seems like a slam dunk for P, right? Nope. Judge tells P that if he wants to continue 50/50 that he has to transport his kids to their new school an hour away each day, otherwise he'd have to take EOWE and breaks. Nevermind that R moved because BF got in trouble for violating his probation (parole maybe?). Nevermind that CPS had to get involved because the nature of BF's crimes meant that he needed to NOT be around minors. Nevermind that R lied to CPS about BF living with her (and CPS had proof of this). P was told too bad, so sad even WITH a CO.

So, my hopes that your DH will be able to take SD with him are slim. While moving may put your DD in better schools, it'll likely come at the cost of paying BM more CS. 

What about the school system makes it "bad"? Is it something that doing extra work with DD would make her a star pupil/get her into advanced classes? Is there a neighboring school that is better that you might be able to enroll her in? Having DD be top of her class in HS comes with some nice financial incentives for college that she may not get at a more competitive school. Unless she's actually at risk of not learning basics to graduate or is at physical risk, I'd highly recommend looking at supportive programs that give her the education you want her to have and keep her at the top of her class. In theory, SD will graduate before DD exits middle school, so you could move then and let DD take advantage of a more diverse HS then.

Courts here (PA) mostly look at status quo. BM's school district would be primary. He lived in this district & sent SD to school there thus far - so he must have been okay with it. He wouldn't keep 50/50 unless he was willing to do all transport to BM's school on his weeks.

No way he'd get full custody unless there's clear evidence of abuse and neglect. Why does he think he'll get it. I'd be taken aback if my ex moved 40 minutes away and argued he must have full custody of DD because he moved. He moved but it doesn't mean SD must follow.

It makes no sense. He'd likely get less custody not more, maybe like eow schedule if he moves away. 

We are also in a 100 mile radius state.  Once he left, SO has always lived roughly 20 miles from BM.

Before we moved in together he was 17 miles door to door.  With the routes it was a 45 min drive based on traffic.  Where we are now is 24 miles door to door (22 to school).  Because it's all freeway, it's just under a 25 min drive.  It's actually slightly quicker than the bus route they take from BMs.

Custody is 50/50 in a 2-2-5-5.  SSs are late elementary and tween.  Schools are similarly ranked (both top 10 in state).  As long as BM lives in that district, that is the SSs home district.  All exchanges are at school or summer camps (summer camps are by us because they're quite frankly way better).

On the other side, BM has skids who head in the opposite direction.  27 miles door to door & 34 miles to school.  They are 30/70 (EOWE) during the school year & 50/50 (week on week off) in the summers. 

When she married this guy last year and he moved into her house, he added 20 some odd miles for his kids.  Their BM is super high conflict (ha! that's what she gets for treating me as an adversary without provocation) and would never, ever give an inch.  Their custody didn't change with the distance, though.  All three high school as of next year.  That BM had no say in it.

We haven't run into any trouble on the social or recreational side of things yet. We're in a much more kid & outdoor activity friendly area.  We actually do all of the social hosting for SSs and those parents all happily make the drive. 

SSs play one sport around BMs in the spring, but only because she won't put them in an actual functional league (about halfway between houses). 

I imagine this will change once YSS is in middle school.  OSS is a jerk so his location doesn't really matter outside of the classroom.  I think YSS, on the other hand,  is going to require them to revisit the schedule in a few years.

I would check the order to see if there is standard distance and also be clear on your commute time.  BM might not be able to do anything about the distance but your DH will still have to be reasonable and realistic about the transportation.  The swapping custody though?  I think that's completely unrealistic, especially if BM would never so much as pretend to consider it.

When I met DH the SDs were 7 and 9 and he had 50/50 (still does) with an awful every other Fri/Sat/Sun and every Tues/Wed schedule. The school trip back then, before traffic became much, much worse, was just over an hour one way. It was awful. DH and BM managed to change the schedule slightly so that there was less back and forth and then it became every other week when they were around 9 and 11 or so. That helped hugely. They also went to our local middle school, a highly rated school and had a school bus pick up just up the street so no driving them. But there was a bad commute from BMs house.

Now they both go to high school near BMs (not a good one BTW, ours is much better...but BM) and the timing of the commute back and forth here is terrible.

The commute effected YSD much more than OSD. OSD is PASd so it doesn't matter but YSD is coming here roughly a couple times a week, maximum, since January. DH expected this but he's still upset about it. Plus, he cannot put his foot down about schedule consistency so there's that too.

Honestly, I think it's horribly unfair to make kids commute like that to a school just so one parent can move and keep 50/50.  It's not right.  It's bottom line, selfish. If he wants to keep 50/50 the best is to stay in the same school area-or if BM moves over to the area you are considering.  If he makes this move, he won't maintain 50/50 and chances are he'll become an EOW dad.

If she's already pas'ing- his move will be nail in the coffin to be of importance to his daughter life.

Trust me, you do NOT want EVERY weekend, nor is it fair to either parent OR the child.  Your daughter is only 4- personally I would wait to make the move if BM isn't going to move to the new district.  Your DD should be absolutely fine through elementary, by the time MS hits, SD wll be much older and things could change custody wise 

When parents move like that, it does have an effect on the kids left behind.  DH was able to stay a lot more involved in SD's life by us being in the same area.  My ex moved 45 min away and he was already a dead-beat, the distance just gave him an excuse to see them even less....it was the wrong move IMO- had he stayed it's possible he would have been a TAD more involved with them.