Hey newbies.....things don't change
I have not been on this site for at least a year, however I started posting on this site at least 3 years ago with the normal issues like guilty parenting, my mate is my now husband . We dealt with not setting boundaries with ex wife, high child support, Whiney kids and a little step girl who clearly never warmed up to me ......I popped in to say after many arguments, fights, counseling over his step kids and ex wife........the issues still rear it's ugly head.....in short, even though our issues are different and not as frequent......the damage from countless arguments sometime do damage that is never reversible......my advice to those dealing with unacceptable drama from bm and kids and whose husbands seem to defend instead of dealing with fact.........RUN! Here to tell you I love my now husband but our relationship could be 10 times better had it not been for redundant arguments over his ex and kids........just my 2 cents
- Whateva's blog
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Whateva, I concur. DH and I
Whateva, I concur. DH and I have been married for 5 years now. We have spent more time in litigation with BM and arguing about his pathological liar of a daughter far more than I would have ever dreamed of. This last week, we wrapped up our third trip to court and I am done. That is 3 times that I have had to sit in a backwoods, conservative, hypocritical courtroom and listen to a Judge berate my family because of the lies and false accusations BM and SD told him. And for those of you out there expecting to let the Family Court system solve your problems with BM, let it go. It doesn't work. The system is flawed - at least in the state we live in. I love my husband as well and I pray that our marriage survives this drama, but as of last week, I have chosen to disengage. I will not allow SD9 to destroy me or my BKs anymore.
I agree the child support
I agree the child support system is terribly flawed and in my case has made even more waves for me from the very beginning...My husband pays more than he should (his fault for not getting an attorney when they 1st divorced, another story lol) but because of the amount of money he pay that goes in BM's pocket, clearly not on the kids makes for an uneasiness within itself.
In my case disengaging works for me but then I catch flack from my husband because this strained relationship with his no personality having kids is always my fault because I am the adult and they are only kids...blah blah blah...so then that makes for an argument, like I said I love my husband but frankly if I had a crystal ball to predict the countless arguments and stress of dealing with a man with young kids and an ex would bring I would have passed. i hate to admit that but its the truth. I would advise any young woman who is in a new relationship and dealing with some of these issues to run...of course if you have a man that backs you as the new love in his life and can see his kids imperfections and set CLEAR boundaries with ex then you might have a keeper, but if you are starting out with arguments and disagreements and he parents out of guilt, trust me you will never really win and by the time you are at peace ...your marriage is flawed from the countless arguements, it leave no room to have normal spats that couples have because you have exhausted your arguments over his kids and ex wife...or at least this is my world. :?