I would just send a copy of the CO that states his visitation days.  Personally, I would just ignore him.  She already told him that she had plans and he needed to let her know before the holiday.

I agree with the ignore. That tends to piss them off more anyway. 

Are life savers when the parents are unable to communcate well with each other. Plus this man sounds very disturbed, and prone to rages.

Time to get an agreement in place, pronto, if there is not one. And then abide by it strictly.

Boundaries must be set. There is no need for communication like that. Those Court Orders are like gold! Follow them exactly! He can see his kids when the state deems he can. 

Wow, her ex is definitely overboard with his "communication" attempts. This is very over the top.

Is there any way you can use a communication tool? Family Wizard or some such thing? You may need to revise the CO.

Did she give them to him short notice in the past?  Or did she preplan it with him?  I would send him a copy of the CO, his times highlighted in Idiot yellow and inclue a short note that if he wishes to have the skids more, she'd be more then happy to take this back to court and let the judge decide this after looking at her documentation on his exercised visitation history for the last year or so.   You need to be firm with assholes like this.  Send it certified so he has to sign for it and you get a receipt.  Put that stapled to the copy of letter in your court file and forget about it.  He's either feeling lonely or trying to impress a woman friend or giving into family pressure to see the skids.  

The 4th was on Wednesday, not a weekend , not Father's Day, not Thanksgiving or Christmas. 

Per the CO bio-Dad had no claims to 4th of July. Even if the holiday celebration was being held on the weekend, does the man know when his weekends are as to was it last weekend? This weekend? He hasn't seen the kids since January.

"I wanna see my f-ing kids" doesn't cut it. 

When and if the man can act appropriately and request time, he can politely call ahead of time and put in a proper request. 

Does he contact the kids at all inbetween his lengthy times of forgetting he has kids? 

you are suppose to sit home everyday of the year to see if he was his visitation A hour before he get there.  Big NO. If he want Viaitation he has to ask a few days before !!!!!

"Please refer to the CO."

Done. That's all that needs to be said if silence just doesn't cut it for your DW. Though, after saying it once, I'd go silent. Then, at the next tirade, I'd amend:

"Please refer to the CO. Also, I am no longer comfortable communicating via telephone. You may reach me via email at me@me.me."

Silence again.

Don’t respond. He wants a response so he can fight .

If there is a visitation order, and he barely gets kids, he’s probably in contempt of court. I would keep a journal of the visits he misses. That way, if he ever escalates the situation, he will lose and you habe proof that he is sporadic and power-tripping.

I would definitely ignore him. According to the CO, he cannot just see them whenever he wants and, in fact, does not even see them when he has the right to, so....

Just another idiot, talking out of his ass.

I will assume bio dad pays support. He also went to court with your wife and has a CO for visitation. It is unlikely he is a total jerk, crack head or drunk or you would have told us dipshit seldom pays support and he did time in jail for xyz.  There are non custodial like that and custodial parents too.\ So please consider yourself very lucky. You may not feel super lucky right now because this dad wants to see his bio kids.

. But this is not so much about anything other than, you report dad stalked your family on the 4th to see his kids. That is not stalking.

Did he call several times? Yes he did. Was his calls and text unreasonable. Not IF he wants to see his kids and it maybe difficult for him. Do you realize many BM pull that crap...ohhhh we had plans, didnt trurn the cell phone, didnt KNOW dad wanted to see the kids..HE hasnt seen them in 8months..happens more often than not. Its in the play book actually. Funny thing about cell phones getting records is easy if needed. AND most people have them with them even when they say they dont.

It sounds like your wifes court order was specific about most holidays. To also speak on "on years off years" tells me this looser you speak of was present in the kids lives enough to require a Judge to order details. Not just eow. My experience is many Judges remain silent, your wife and "looser" did not.

Strange the Judge did not discuss the kids time with dad during the summer. You may want to look at your wifes court order.

Sir, I would like to assume your wife is a stellar ex wife AND GoldStar Mom who would never play the typical games too many divorced women play....IE----dad is a dead beat who does not want to see his kids unless he has nothing planned OR is drunk on the phone.

There are countless bio dads who are called as such and BM toys with them in unscrupulous ways using the kids to traumatize them (dads) over and over again.  READ HER COURT ORDER...maybe dad was to have his kids. Chances are high that bio dad should have more time with the kids over the summer.

IF your wife was a decent mom she would have called him that evening or the next day to schedule a long weekend for him.

As much as mom and you may think dad is a looser and as much as you and mom may think the kids shouldnt see dad...I highly suggest you work in a more positive fashion with bio dad.Courts are changing, custody is shifting towards 50 50 custody for fit parents. 

Dad may have indeed not been scheduled for visitation this 4th of July. BUT as custodial parent, your wife IS required to bridge the relationship the kids have with their bio dad. That requires HER to call her ex (this time)  and make sure he can see them. IF he tells her no. OK then no it is.

He could very easily be a 1 caller and crickets for the next 6months. On the other hand he may very well be setting mom up for a modification on the basis that she is prohibiting him from spending time with the children.

Also, having the kids in counseling for so long would raise an eyebrow .....maybe the kids are not doing so well inside your home and possibly would do better with dad at his home. You see I have been at this for close to 20 years, I have see the best of them and the worst of them. IF dad is so bad ie looser he would not have eow. Sounds like he lives close by SO,,,, I suggest to kiss his ass just a tad or your wife could be setting herself up for a court date.

IF dad is an awful man---request that he give up his parental rights, and you could adopt them. Current bio child support ends though. Then you would be on the hook/How does that sound to you...OR would you rather see if this can smooth out before something bigger comes up.

You might be very surprised to hear LOSERS side of the story...I bet it is very different than your wifes. Usually is.

There are Hundreds of Thousands of men across the United States labeled losers, who are not. Moms make sure their ex have very limited time one way or another.