As with everything that bothers me time and time again...

My DH told me that there is a rule in the house. No friends in the house when neither of us are home...

SS17 does this all of the time. I say, I thought this was a rule. He says, well, she is a good responsible kid, it is okay. I say well, would you let SS15 have friends over, he says, "oh, no way, she is way too irresponsible."

Well, then I say, if you make a rule, you have to stick by it. I count on the fact that there are no "friends" in the house when we are not home. We both work from home, but I have a ton of files and a lot of computer equipment and gadgets my company provides for me to do my job.

Not only that, I don't know these kids, their parents, or anything. DH makes no effort to know where these kids come from, waht they are about, etc.

SS15 was already caught stealing alcohol from our freezer and doing something else that is illegal in our home.

SO, today, SS15 had a friend over, neither one of us were home. I called my husband and he said he was okay with it because the weather is bad, their other friend wasn't home, blah blah blah.

Well, I said a rule is a rule and even if you bend it, you need to acknowledge they went against what you said you should communicate your thought process to the other adult in the house and not just say, this is the way it is...

THis makes me so angry and I have so many feelings about it. THey are:

I feel really uncertain and not able to count on my husband's word.

I feel that he operates solo, he does not consider me at all.

Skids do nothing to contribute to the house and he has to practically beg them to clean up after themselves...I contribute in multiple ways, financially and cleaining. Shouldn't I have a say or at least shouldn't he be expected to keep his word to me?

We have construction in the front of the house. It is not safe in the front at all. SD15 thinks nothing to walk up the front steps over the framed porch (no floor, just the frame) when DH is not home and makes fun of me when I ask her not to because her and her friends could get hurt.

I always say that the most difficult thing about being a Smom is witnessing how awful his children talk to and treat the man I love. This is especially the case when they show him no respect and walk all over him. I have witnessed my SD15 call him mean and an asshole only to come down 5 minutes later and ask her to go out and buy her taco bell! When they do not obey him, I am furious. When he lets them walk all over him, I won't even say what comes into my mind!

I requested a lock for my office door. We are going away tomorrow night and he said to me "oh, then it will be absolutely no kids in the house." Oh right, nothing like that will happen when we are a 100 miles a way.

I wonder if he never told me that this was a rule in the house if this would be an issue. I don't really think it would be...