You are here

Want to be a better SM's Blog

One question that I have...why is my DH raising his kids to be so different than he?

Want to be a better SM's picture

My DH is one of the kindest and generous men that I know. He works hard and makes sacrifices for his family, like driving cars into the ground rather than buying a new one! He keeps a really clean and neat home. He has held jobs since high school.

When we dated, we talked about how we both put ourselves through college even though he did not really have to because his Father is a Physician and his parents had saved for his education. He went out and bought his own cars as a teenager and young adult, etc. When he proposed, he said that he thought we were really similar.

Dishes in sink...what should I do?

Want to be a better SM's picture

DH is away on business. I cooked for the past 3 nights. I have a monthly dinner with a group of girlfriends and I have missed it for about 5 months. Tonight was that night. I asked if he minded that I go. He said sure, the kids (SS19, SD17, and SD15) can fend for themselves for tonight.

When I left, I realized there were no forks or knives, so, I ran the dishwasher.

I left a note saying that the dishes were clean, our cleaning crew is coming tomorrow, and have a good night.

Thinks this is not going to help, am I wrong? Please give examples of this kind of stuff working...

Want to be a better SM's picture

SD15 has been extremely defiant. She is failing out of school because she does not do her homework, she actually does okay on tests. DH gets emails from teachers several times a week saying that she is not turning in her work. She has 4-5 Fs out of 7-8 classes. She never says hello to me. If I am cooking she says "Dad, what is for dinner?" right in front of me. She says she never wants to be home, she "hates" it here.

It was me tonight!

Want to be a better SM's picture

I made what I thought would be a nice dinner. Truth is it was awful. For some reason, it did not turn out well at all!

SD17 actually came to dinner and did not complain. DH said it was good. I know it was not and I am not being hard on myself.

SD15 did not come down for dinner. It is her "statement" because I was cooking.

Funny, she made a good choice.

I just thought I would post this because it is funny...

DH just told me I should be less cheery around the house...

Want to be a better SM's picture

He told me that I shouldn't try to talk to SD15 and SD17 and let them come to me.

SD15 came down this morning and complained her feet hurt. Her Dad said it was her Uggs and I said I heard they cause plantar fascitis (sp?) and I think that could be it. I volunteered to show her some stretches. She said no. Okay, I dropped it.

A former boss told me never to lose my enthusiasm. I think explains my personality.

DH said I should not try to talk to them all of the time and let them come to me...

Rules

Want to be a better SM's picture

As with everything that bothers me time and time again...

My DH told me that there is a rule in the house. No friends in the house when neither of us are home...

SS17 does this all of the time. I say, I thought this was a rule. He says, well, she is a good responsible kid, it is okay. I say well, would you let SS15 have friends over, he says, "oh, no way, she is way too irresponsible."

Rules

Want to be a better SM's picture

As with everything that bothers me time and time again...

My DH told me that there is a rule in the house. No friends in the house when neither of us are home...

SS17 does this all of the time. I say, I thought this was a rule. He says, well, she is a good responsible kid, it is okay. I say well, would you let SS15 have friends over, he says, "oh, no way, she is way too irresponsible."

My Dr. jekyll and Mr. hyde

Want to be a better SM's picture

I feel like 2 different persons reacting to my DH's request tonight.

DH told me tonight that BM does not come around as much (we have not seen her for 3 weeks) because she cannot go to the one daugher's room (mind you there are 3 kids) and spend 1 on 1 time with her, so she winds up driving around for a few hours just to spend time with her kids, well 1 kid, the other 2 disappear when she comes around or she neglects to tell them.

DH asked if it would be okay that BM is able to go into the one SD's room when she comes in our tiny house.

BM wants to diagnose everyone!

Want to be a better SM's picture

The BM of my 3 mostly lovely stepchildren always wants to diagnose them...

The oldest has Asperger's.

The youngest (14) is really acting out...not handing in homework, cutting class, not obeying my DH when he gives punishment, etc. She was also caught smoking pot...

BM says she needs to be on Lithium...BM is an alcoholic who has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and thinks she (diagnosed by herself and her Mother) may also be Schizophrenic...

Pages