:jawdrop:

Not trying to write a book here but a little background info may be needed (or atleast a little venting) sorry so long

So I married my jr high school sweetheart in 2011. All was good for a little while. He has a son and I have 2 daughters. My SS (then 9) had failed 4th grade when we first got together and everyone attributed it to his parents splitting up. Well, second year of 4th grade passed! Not without a lot of time and dedication from me bc I so desperately wanted to see him succeed even though he fought me tooth and nail every single night! Constant battles over school and homework! 5th graded passed! With just as much time and dedication from me again with the same resistance from him, every night battling over school work and homework and emails from teachers regarding grades and behavior and countless meetings with teachers and the principle, some of which I had to attend myself bc his father works late and can't attend most of them and his mother is to interested in being his friend than she is being a real parent! We punished him and she took him to the movies! 6th grade, same story. Fighting, grounding, nightly battles, constant emails and phne calls to ME from his teachers, but another pass barely! This past year I had to stop! My nerves couldn't take another year of being the only one who was battling him to get his work done and turned in, I couldn't deal with having to constantly be the one who was watching over him and staying in contact with his teachers to ensure another successful year! He's 13! Time to grow up and sink or swim! Well not sure how but he got promoted to 8th grade even though his grades were C's D's and F's (mostly F's) all year! And the F's were in most of his core classes like English, Social Studies, and Science! Gotta love the incentive of our school systems to make sure they pass through as many kids as possible no matter what! "No Child Left Behind" is doing nothing for our youth's futures, but that's a rant for another blog!

My biggest rant here is the support I feel I have gotten from my DH. He is a wonderful man, works hard to support his family, and I love him with all my heart! When it comes to my SS13 I don't feel I get the respect or support when it comes to punishments for bad behavior or bad grades and now it's gotten worse! Any time he gets caught doing something he's not supposed to do, or being deceitful, or gets caught lying, or playing with lighters and burning things in our NEW HOUSE (not just once but multiple times) he never gets held to any punishments, he always manipulates my husband into changing what has been said would happen "if it happens again"!

Yes he hasn't had his xbox, wii, kindle fire, phone, or internet privilegs for a long long while now but that even gets tossed aside at times and he gets to use them occassionally! Especially at his mothers! My SS13 has learned that when he gets caught doing something he just tells his dad what he wants to hear, endures 2 hours of lecturing, yelling at us, and arguing some of the dumbest points until his dad usually conceeds and its back to a "if it happens again" punishment!

Caught with dip at 13 = when that can is gone you don't bring another one home but you can have it until then! REALLY!!!!

Caught burning things in the house = your friend isn't allowed to come back over since you guys are making stupid decisions! REALLY! this is the 3 or 4th time its happened!

Found tobacco products in his room = confrontation, him and his dad yelling at one another, stupid excuses why, SS13 blaming me saying none of this would have happened if his "stepmom" didn't go through his stuff, DH telling his BM, and a threat of another conversation when he gets back from his mothers! Oh and lets not forget DH questioning me why I was going through his stuff and then a statement of why does it always seem like I'M always doing things or finding things to push his son out of the house!!!!!!! FOR F*CKING REAL! How in the hell did I become the bad guy here????

I am so sick of feeling like I'm always the one demanding respect and expecting him to follow the rules and when he breaks the rules it always winds up that he gets a lecture and a "if this happens again" threat. Yes sometimes DH does enforce the rules but since his BM is always the one allowing him to break the rules and be his BFF then DH doesn't want to be the a**hole all the time and punish him when he is with us (which is most of the time, except this summer bc BM is letting SS use the phone since he is grounded from it at our house).

I was soooooo upset last night when the tobacco incident went down that I was sick to my stomach and literally felt like I was going to :sick: heave the rest of the night, I couldn't eat anything. And I'm still feeling sick today and still don't want to eat anything! Guess its a great diet plan though but doesn't do much for my heart! I do love my SS, I just don't like how he is constantly allowed to do the things he does without any REAL reprocussions! He is a very manipulative person and usually if he argues with his father and I when he does something wrong and knows trouble is coming then he knows he will get the standard "if this happens again" punishment!

I'm sorry for the long rant but I had to get it out somewhere and I just don't think my DH is receptive to hearing it! Ive been reading some of the blogs and forums here and feel a definite connection to the other stepmoms here and can totally empathize with you!
Praying constantly!