Okay, so I finally had a nice heart to heart with my DH this past weekend and explained to him my concerns regarding his approach to disciplining his son. I told him he is not 4 anymore and his "don't do that again" method of discipline is obviously NOT working bc the things my SS does is getting progressively worse in nature. GUESS WHAT?

My DH agreed with me! WOW! I was totally shocked. Then when my SS came home from his BM on Saturday, my DH and him "had a talk"... then we all three "had a talk"... no reprocussions from the things we found on Thursday in his room before he went to his BM house!!! I feel like it turned out just like it always does, another "don't let me catch you doing this again" approach. Now we did make it clear that we would no longer have 2 hour discussions/arguements with him regarding his behaviour and when he does something wrong he will be punished and we won't be listening to his yelling, screaming, or negotiation tactics! I really don't think this is going to truely stick when it comes to DH though. The SS was with us Saturday until 330 on Sunday and was ready to go back to his BM so we took him. Granted Saturday and Sunday were pretty good days (other than me still feeling sick, not sure if it's anxiety when SS is around or if it's my lupus acting up.. or both) but he is coming back on Friday this week and we shall see how it goes! Now my DH is promising fishing trips, camping trips, ect... I think he might be trying to over compensate and kind of "baby" him so he does behave. As long as the SS is doing something he wants or getting what he wants he is a good kid to be around, it's when he isn't that all h@ll breaks loose! Well, its supposed to rain this weekend so lets see how it turns out when he doesn't get his way with dad!

I don't mean to sound so cynical but we have tried this before and it never sticks! I tried disengaging this weekend when the SS was home and I did feel a kind of relief... left his dirty dishes on the counter in the kitchen, left the empty bag in the refrigerator that SS left in there... I didn't lift a finger for my SS this weekend, I even cleaned the counters around his mess and left his mess for him to clean up. I told him one time to get his mess up and when he didn't I didn't say a word about it, just left it! My DH was the one that threw away the empty bag and DH did tell SS to get his dishes up. It was kind of a relief, maybe I do need to stop being "the enforcer" I'm going to try it for the sake of my health and well being atleast! That and maybe my DH will finally get tired of telling him constantly too and not just be tired of hearing my voice constantly badgering the boy!

I'll definetly keep you updated on the disengagement project!

Praying for everyone here to find that inner peace and happiness!