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StepParent won Rights

Mominit's picture

Submitted by Mominit on Fri, 10/14/2022 - 12:38pm

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Stepparent Rights

Interesting case in Ontario.  Hicks v Geist.  A stepdad who was in the life of his SD from ages 18mo to 5 years took his ex-wife to court for visitation rights to his SD.  They were a tight family and had discussed adoption.  He played a parental role in the child's life.  But when they divorced, Mom decided it would be best to move on completely, potentially relocate, and stopped all visitation between SD and the stepdad.  He took it to court and won.  The judge ruled that a child from 18mo to 5 years was at a prime age for forming attachments and had formed one with stepdad.  And was liklely now missing this person in her life.  Stepdad was awarded visitation (and has agreed to pay child support).

Interesting.  I know it's not something that a lot of people here would want (with the divorce there are a few SKs that you'd be glad to never see again).  But it was interesting that for those who truly do love their SKs and want to be in their life that old adage of "If you get divorced you have no rights to ever see that child again" doesn't always apply.  Now, with the right of visitation came the responsibility of support.  But BM didn't want the support.  She wanted the ex out of her and "her" daughter's life.  The judge decided that the child had at least two people who cared for her.

Glad mine are all grown and it's no longer an issue, but I found it an interesting step in SP rights.

Ispofacto's picture

Submitted by Ispofacto on Fri, 10/14/2022 - 3:10pm

Surprised it went to court, with the stepdad offering CS seems like most BMs would jump all over that.  Cynical, I. know.

 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Fri, 10/14/2022 - 5:05pm

I'm so torn on this. On the one hand, it's a great step for those SPs who want a relationship with kids they have had a heavy hand in raising (especially when you're talking about potentially adopting and the other parent is entirely out of the picture).

On the other hand, I don't like how it strips rights away from a parent to choose who is in their child's life. Yeah, the parent chose this person as their partner for 4 years, but what was thw reason for leaving? Was SF abusive or controlling? A cheater? Manipulative? Potentially a child molester? Sure, BM could be the guilty party in this or they could just have grown apart, but this just seems to pose problems that the courts haven't even figured out how to address when a BP is involved.

Plus, does this kid even want the SP in their life? I get it with BPs - kids don't have a choice because the BP has rights. But in this case, the SP has just visitation, correct? What if this kid doesn't want to be involved with someone they aren't related to? What if they want to form a bond in the future with BM's new partner, or has no desire to form a parental bond with someone else? It's the same ick feelings I have about SP adoption when a kid isn't old enough to express what they want.

This just seems like a bad idea on a lot of levels. I can totally see this BM PASing her child against the SF which would probably be worse than just having the SF disappear.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 10/15/2022 - 1:24pm

That he is also agreeing to pay CS also speaks highly of him, knowing the little that we kow about the details of the situation.

Now that there is a CO, he will have to diligently manage the situation to keep any PAS from the BM at bay, and to keep the relationship with his Skid as BM drama free as possible.

It certaily could have some broad impact on Candian blended family divorce rulings when a Sparent chooses to leverage the precedent.

I raised my SS-30 as my own from before he was 2yo.  Blessedly my DW and have invested in our marriage and we did not have to go through this or put SS through it.  I would have fought for COd visitation had it ended. At least I hope I would have.

Though a win for the StepDad and for SP rights, I doubt that the overall experience will be a positive one. For any of them including the Skid.

Sadly.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Sat, 10/15/2022 - 1:50pm

Based only on snippets gathered from Canadian members on this site, I gather Canadian courts view step parents somewhat differently than US courts do. We've ever heard of instances where a SP's income can be considered when calculating cs. Maybe this varies by province? Regardless, the definition of what constitutes a family has changed a great deal, so it's nice to see a court recognizing that. Hopefully this sends a message to Canadian single parents that individuals they choose to bring into their kids' lives aren't always disposable.