Prior to DH attempting to end his life a few weeks ago,  had a trip planned to CO which was a very much-needed break from skid-related stress, change of scenery, and to see my best friends. I was struggling too honestly and needed to try and get myself in a better headspace. DH talked me into still going and said he was 100% not going to do anything to hurt himself. I did believe him. 
 

I was gone for 11 days and got back Wed- 2 days of it was work. It was mostly great, but DH did not handle my absence well. He thought me going there was a "trial run" at living there without him and Skids (I used to live there and have tried to convince him to move there with no luck). Which isn't the case. But he knows I've been struggling with SD15's absolute crazy antics, and just everything in general. He felt very insecure and vulnerable and after recent events the timing wasn't great and I've never really seen him act like this honestly. He was so worried and it caused a ton of unnecessary issues. I had a moment where I almost came home because I was worried about him, but I stayed. It wasn't ideal. 
 

Anyway, we talked it all out when j got home, but there were only 2 nights before he drove SS to college 20hrs away. SS had been staying with us because Crazy was unhinged and threatening to drop SS's cat off at his work so he blocked her for 2wks- he unblocked her to ask if he could get his things from her house. She immediately started in about the cat again, but then was nice and wanted to see him. Somehow he decided to spend the last 4 days before he left at her house. Which, strange. He went there 1 NIGHT before she told him to pack his things and come back by us- Kicked him out. Wtf! He is leaving for college!! And it was all over this f'ng cat. So because SS begged DH, they decided to start driving to college on Fri instead of Thurs. SS wanted "1 more day" to say goodbye to friends. DH relented. SS ended up playing mini golf with his gf's parents on Thurs, and didn't come home until 7pm, even though DH had text him hours earlier saying he had tons to do yet. DH was PISSED. He had planned to rotate the tires on SS's car, and pack the car. But not at 7pm! He told SS he could do it all himself since SS didn't give a shit about anyone's time but his own. Somehow SS managed to be pouty about that and told me I should tell DH he should let him drive to college alone. Ha!
Later, SS dropped his gf off, and I happened to look at his ins app that tracks his trips, and saw that he then went straight to his ex gf's house! Which really oisses me off. This kid is so shady. He lies and I don't trust him. And his gf is so nice, and already planning a trip to see him. 
 

Anyway, since he got home so late, he didn't do half of what we told him he needed to do with his room, so now we are stuck putting all of his crap away and cleaning up after him. DH said he had 20hrs to lecture him about that, and about treating his gf good and how to break up with her before he ever does anything like cheat on her (I haven't even told DH about SS driving to his ex's house yet).

Tonight while DH is still gone, I was hanging out with friends and we all were bringing frozen pizzas. I went to grab the good ones from our freezer in the basement and they are gone. DH does not eat these. Which means SS did, even though he knows 100% he isn't supposed to. They are like $11 each! That's not a teen meal,  I have $4 pizzas for him in a different freezer. And the fact that he ate them all- I was fuming. He clearly did it because I was gone. I decided to look on the Ring camera just to see - and happened to find a video of SS eating Ice cream while talking to his gf- he was saying "I think this ice cream is Truenorth's and I'm not supposed to be eating it- but there's barely any left. She's gone til the 7th and I leave on the 8th, so she can only yell at me for 1 day." Then he looks right at the camera and says he bets I'm watching it right now (as if I just sit there watching the cameras) and he will probably get a text from me any minute yelling at him, but "I'm moving out", and then he continues to eat it. Zero f*cks given. 
 

The thing is, the Ice cream was for everyone. But that attitude? F off. Selfish, doesn't care if he gets in trouble or is eating something of mine. I was so pissed. After he did that (since I didn't know)  I had bought SS some things for his dorm room from Amazon and had them sent to his college, and now I wish I didn't. He has shown time and time again that he doesn't care about our feelings, listening to us, or being considerate. I spent part of my day cleaning up the mess he left in his room (he never did say goodbye to his friends, which was his alleged reason for wanting to leave a day later), and then seeing his inconsiderate attitude on the Ring...Good rifddance. I am so over this kid. He is DH's golden child and even DH is relieved I think. He is kind of hoping SS will stay at college over summer to work or get an internship. Same DH, same. 
 

Side note, I have a group text with my sister, her bf, my brother and SIL, and mentioned turning SS's room Inti a guest room. My sister asked where SS would stay when he came home. I said, in that room? It's his room/guest room, it's not like he can't sleep there just because we take out his twin bed and put In a queen. She said "It just seems a bit completely kick-out ish". Which isn't even a real phrase, but I was like how?? It doesn't make sense to have a twin bed. We have friends from out of state. She kept going about how he will feel unwelcome. People do this all the time, am I wrong??? My friends mom turned her room Into an office!  Like we are not being unreasonable. He will be just fine. I told SS he will have a nice big comfy bed when he comes home. Should we keep it as a shrine? 
 

Ok lastly, SD15 got a job at the brewery/restaurant in town where my friends work occasionally. I went there today since one of them was bartending. SD had gone home early since it was slow (not sad, it's not even our skid week), but my friends and I were sitting outside and all of a sudden Crazy, SD, and Crazy's BF pull up (apparently Crazy and him are back together AGAIN for the 11th time) and walk past us to go eat. Everyone was like, wait that's Crazy?!? Because she is infamous, but also elusive. And let me tell you- she was looking trashy. It looked like she was wearing a diaper under her leggings. She has no style. Anyway, seeing SD and Crazy on my day out was definitely not needed. Especially since I'm in my feels that DH's Ins approved SD for a 4-8wk residential treatment program for mental health, and even SD was excited to go....but a few days ago the program text me that their medical team DENIED her because it's a very active program and SD has a medical condition. Even thought her Dr. Provided a letter. Denied. So now it feels like we are back to square one, and SD is fighting DH tooth and nail about talking to a regular therapist. Now that we have this denial, we need to tell her she has no choice. DH says that's "easier said than done". My fear is that It feels like it has to happen. I can't handle things continuing how they have been and I don't think her meds alone will fix this. 
 

I'm trying to cling to the relief I feel from SS being out of this house!! He was a constant source of stress. Laziness, lies, sneakiness. He can do all of that somewhere else. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted!