This is really groundbreaking stuff guys. A little backstory, we know by now that DH refuses to enforce punishments, with SS especially. Well last time skids were here we had them for 3 weeks in a row, which was actual hell, but unbeknownst to me, DH was riding SS16 pretty hard. I had heard snippets, but not the majority of it because I was just minding my business, trying to survive. Anyway, DH told me that for 5 days in a row last time, he yelled at SS for various things- getting zero's on homework, and I don't even know what else. DH told him the next zero he gets, he was going to take his gaming cords. He told SS, I know you have no reason to believe me because I've never enforced that before, but just try me. Apparently SS got a big attitide with DH, which honestly is pretty surprising, because DH has been all bark and no bite, but his bark is still pretty intimidating. DH said the next morning when SS came downstairs he sat SS down and told him, Don't you ever f*cking talk to me like that again. One would think that would kind of nip it in the bud, but alas, we are so far down the path of no repurcussions that it did not. 

Fast forward to yesterday- SS got home from school and DH had just checked his grades online. Multiple F's and zero's on homework. DH just said, "Go upstairs and get your power cords, then do your chore. I think you know why".  SS did it, and while he was swiffering the floor- of course behind my desk where I was working, DH was on the other side of my desk, yelling at him that they had just talked about this, and did he even study at all? SS had one smartass reply after another. But he also said that he wasn't there for some of the homework. Later, DH told me that Crazy has been letting them stay home from school sometimes- skids don't tell us that, he can just see their Absences in the online portal. So SS is being a smartass and I'm literally sitting in the middle of it working, trying to ignore it, but I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows at SS's smartass remarks to DH. Balls of steel on this one. I don't know why he thought that would be received well, but DH made him stop swiffereing for a second and said, do I look like I'm amused right now?? You think making these smartass remarks is going to get you anywhere? You want to see what else I can take away? SS shut up pretty quick after that. DH and I had a discussion last week about yelling vs. punishing, because DH said he could see SS getting worn down when he was yelling at him for 5 days in a row. I said, ok, maybe it's time for a different tactic. Yelling isn't working (DH agreed). I said, maybe just giving a consequence and enforcing it will make an impact. DH had said he was 100% going to enfoce the gaming cord punishment if SS got another zero, which happened very quickly.  

So for the first time since SS was 9yrs old, DH actually enforced a punishment. He is so frustrated with SS, which I completely get because I don't know what this kid is doing. He took all AP classes and is so excited for college and we talk about it all the time, but he isn't applying himself at all. He just wants to play video games and not put in the work. 

SD13 had a volleyball game last night (last one of the season, thank GOD because they are absolutely painful to watch), and DH's sister was there, who hasn't talked to us in over a year other than a clipped "hi" here and there (posting the story below as an optional read). DH's mom came, her and DH's sister sat in the row behind us, 3 seats down, so they wouldn't have to actually talk to us. SS came and sat next to them (him and DH weren't talking, so by default he was pouty with me too), Crazy came and sat 3 rows directly behind us. So really it was my own personal hell. DH and I both noticed that SS didn't interact with Crazy at all, even though they were sitting within talking distance. My theory is that she doesn't know how to parent him, so she lets him do what he wants, but there is tension there because of it...and also because, well, she is crazy. In an interesting turn of events, SD13 has done a complete 180 with me in the past few months, and hugged me when we got to the game, and also gave me a kiss on the head when she went to bed. She hasn't done that in at least 8 months? 

**So the story with DH's sister. Her and I were very good friends. DH and her were never very close until I came along- DH and I started hanging out with her and her husband a lot, and some of their friends. There is a golf outing each year that DH, his sister, their brother and I do each year. We look forward to it, the 4 of us have a blast. Last year, she didn't invite me for some reason and invited some other friend instead. She did invite DH and their brother. DH found out I wasn't invited and told her he wasn't going to play- he didn't give her a reason why, but privately let me know that she had invited someone else so he wasn't going. I insisted he should go- they had been doing this since before I met DH. He refused and said it's more fun with me, he didn't want to go that bad if I wasn't going, and he knew my feelings would be hurt, which they were. I didn't want it be a big deal though or cause issues, so I immediately text her about something else, just to make it known that I wasn't upset. I didn't understand her reasoning, but it was her choice who to invite. One night we were out with her and she asked DH why he wasn't golfing- He explained that Truenorth wasn't invited, he enjoyed golfing with me, he didn't have as much fun with this friend of hers, and he didn't really want to do it that bad if I wasn't going. His sister got all upset and said it was "one family event that she wanted to do with him, and he said no". She couldn't see that I am family also, and after years of us doing it together, not inviting me was hurtful. She then turned to me and said she was disappointed in me, because she "always tried to include me in things", and the "one time she decided to invite another friend" I got upset, and DH wasn't doing it because of me. DH and I both said, whoa whoa whoa- I wasn't upset, I told DH to go, I never made an issue out of it or said anything, and he made the choice on his own not to. That wasn't good enough for her, she decided it was my fault he wasn't going. The next day was my bachelorette party, we went wine tasing on a bus. She came, but ignored me and refused to talk to me- I was in tears. We all met at DH and my house, so DH witnessed this also. Afterwards the bus took us back to our house, and DH saw how upset I was and also how she was obviously ignoring me and generally just being a b*tch, so he yelled at her, then pulled her aside to try and talk to her (impossible). So she won't talk to either us now, over a year later.