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So Proud Of Myself

Tranquility81's picture

I posted some affirmations yesterday because I wanted to officially start making a better life for myself, my husband, my kids, and yes, even my skids }:)
I did a really good job on doing most of the things that I said I was going to do. And when I faltered, oh well, I wasn't too hard on myself and I didn't give up. I need to re-read that post every time I start to lose focus or feel tense.

One thing I really want to work on is to stop discussing his kids/my kids behavior issues with DH. I removed myself from my SD's bad behavior and let my DH deal with it, but I bitched a little to him after the fact and I need to learn to stay silent. I did a good job at that yesterday when it was bedtime, gave my kids a kiss, told them how much I loved them and they hopped off to bed. My skids were in and out of bed, needing numerous "Goodnight's, I love You's, Do you love me's?" My DH dealt with that for about 30 minutes will I was snuggled up peacefully reading Wink When he was done, he was venting about how hard it was to get them to bed and how needy they are. Before I would have felt the need to tell him " It's your fault, a 9 year old doesn't need a 45 minute bedtime ritual, etc" But I didn't I stayed silent, listened and moved on. It felt good! I WILL get better at this, it will create so much less stress in my life.

At 7:00pm tonight we will be kid free for three nights. I cannot be more excited. My affirmation for this weekend is that I will use this time to re-charge!

Comments

SteelRose's picture

Have a great weekend! I used to spend 30 minutes each night putting my kids to bed, letting them tell me about their days individually, some nights it was hard but now that they're 15,18 & 20 I am so glad I did that for so many years! Good for you for listening and not responding, that's a hard one for me too!

Tranquility81's picture

Thank you.

I go back and forth on the bedtime ritual thing. I understand that for full time working parents it's a very important time. But we are both here from the minute the kids get home from school; asking about their day, helping with homework, dinner all together, activities, etc.

I don't mind that he spends time with the kids before bed...However, if he decides not to do it one night the kids FREAK out. Some nights I do it with my kids, sometimes I do not. They are well adjusted on the nights I don't feel like doing it.

Tranquility81's picture

Right after I wrote this post my morning went downhill. Ugh, so much for good intentions.

I did exactly what I did not want to do and discussed behavior issues first thing in the morning with my DH. It was something that I made a promise to myself to stay out of. I'm not even going to try to justify it, I was wrong. Not my kid, not my problem.

New Affirmations:
Moving forward, I will not let this set the tone for my day. I will be mindful of the fact that blended families ( heck, even intact families ) are stress factories. I will learn from my mistake this morning and remember to stay out of it. By continuing to intervene I am making my skids resent me further and I do not want this. I will not be made the bad guy at the hands of my husband.