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Let it be?

forever2's picture

My SS11 is very emotionally immature. I should rephrase that to say...in my opinion, my SS11 is very emotionally immature, because his father, my BF, thinks he is perfect. In my opinion, SS's emotional immaturity is very soon going to get in the way of his healthy development, if its not already too late. As the evil SM, BF takes any of my thoughts or opinions about SS as selfish and mean and assumes before I open my mouth that I am wrong. In part, my concerns ARE selfish because a troubled child becomes a troubled household and the best way to maintain peace and harmony and free adult time with BF is to have SS well-adjusted and happy and normal. SS is about to start junior high school in less than a month. He has no physical problems and is a decent looking kid, no obvious impairments. He is nomal for his size, does well in school, no speach or hearing issues. He will not play with kids his age even though the neighborhood is full of them. SS sits plastered to our couch calling for daddy for every little thing each second he is in our home. All I hear outside is kids running and playing and having fun, but SS will not even try to join. When we first moved in, the other boys would come to our door inviting SS to play with them. He wouldn't go, and now those boys don't bother. SS needs to be tucked into bed at night, and will not brush his teeth or start the bedtime ritual without BF in the room. SS makes up all sorts of questions and conversation to prolong the bedtime ritual, sometimes insisting that daddy sleep with him (which BF does even though this obviously makes things worse..although I am a selfish b--ch for pointing it out). As SSs bedtime hour is the only potential adult time bf and I have together, it is very disruptive. Also, despite requests, SS will not sleep without his disgusting drool covered stuffed animal. What I see is that SS is not maturing with his peers and as he gets less and less on track age wise, he is more and more needy and dependent on us. On some level, SS has to realize this and feel bad about himself. His constant need to sit in daddys lap and hold daddys hand is not going to be well received by the other junior high boys. I would rather do something now rather than deal with a seriously messed up teenager, but because I am the SM, my opinions and observations are viewed with suspicion and then ignored. Any others in this boat? Anything you did that helped?

Willow2010's picture

LOL. It think SS and DH stopped holding hand in the mall when SS was about 15 years old. It was digusting to see them walking thru the mall like that. I asked DH if he thought it was normal and if SS friends saw him, how they would react. It stopped after that. You have a long road ahead of you.