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BM is intimidated by me. Why would she tell me this??

Topmuffin901's picture

So BM drops SS off tonight. I ask her what extra time she is agreeing for DH to have over the Xmas holidays (as per co extra parenting time should be awarded to DH as and when he is able to take it when he isn't working) also the reason I asked was DH is at work when SS is droped off and I need to get the logistics of the Xmas holidays sorted. She agrees to all the time DH has asked for which has got to be a first. She did try to get SS back earlier than usual on one day(think she was trying to start a pissing contest) until I pointed out the co again (i swear you just have to hit them with it sometimes) she then backed down and said "you know you are very intimidating'. I was speechless. I have never been told this and have only ever spoken to BM in a polite and civil matter. I stick to the facts and call her out on her shit but always very politely. Maybe this is what intimidates her. She is also much taller than me and speaks a lot more manly (sorry that's the only way I can put it lol). How can I intimidate her??

Comments

askYOURdad's picture

"I swear BM hates me because she couldn't get me flustered or riled. I always spoke to her with a calm, even voice"

^^^^Me too, I think it drives BM bonkers that I am difficult to read and don't openly express what I am thinking. Usually when we are playing nice she will try and get me discussing a topic that she should discuss with DH (I'm sure the kids have clued her into the fact that in our household I realistically have about a 75% say rather than 50%) and I will just act oblivious and say "Oh I don't know I guess you'll have to talk to "DH" about that I have no idea" lol

furkidsforme's picture

It is that you sound cool, collected, and civil.... she must interpret this as you completely being nonplussed by her.

Bradymom's picture

^yes

Bradymom's picture

Intimidating or straight forward & not easily manipulated? Bio mom feels that about me, bc she's always been able to crap on my DH. Until I came along & pointed out she's crapping on him.

BSgoinon's picture

BM has told me that a million times. It's because I TELL her what is going to happen, not ASK her if its ok. In fact, I am sure she will tell me that in about 5 minutes when she gets my email about Christmas week. I TOLD her how it is going to go.

BadNanny's picture

I NEVER talk to any exes-not mine, nor my husband's (well, one is my client, so we talk business, but when it comes to their kids, they handle it and I handle my ex by texts, unless I think he is in a normal state of mind). I wouldn't want to "intimidate" anybody now, would I???

HadEnoughx5's picture

BM can't stand me because I've got a great memory and I go according to CO's. She KNOWS her shit doesn't fly with me.

Topmuffin901's picture

I don't get into drama with her. God knows she has tried to drag me to her level but I have never taken the bait. I've always remained calm, stuck to the facts and called a spade a spade (or crazy, crazy lol).

misSTEP's picture

GOOD FOR YOU!!

My MIL told me that she thinks that I intimidate our BM because I am smarter than she is and she thought she was all that! I guess if being able to read and understand every single code of state law regarding CS and parenting time - as well as knowing the CO inside and out - then YES I AM smarter than BM!

My DH has some issues with focus, especially when it comes to reading, and she took MUCH advantage of that fact before I came into the picture!

Rags's picture

Manipulative idiots usually wilt when confronted with assertive confidence. No great mystery.