You are here

Stepmum vs stepdad...why is there double standards?

Topmuffin901's picture

Submitted by Topmuffin901 on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 9:06am

Why is it that when a woman marries a man with children she is automatically seen as the homewrecker and the evil stepmother but when a man marries a woman with children he is seen as an honourable great man for taking on the children? Am I just dumb because this confuses the hell out of me!

Comments

dreadingit's picture

Submitted by dreadingit on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 9:12am

I wonder if it is because most people (unconsciously) assume that as a woman, you automatically feel maternal love toward any child you are exposed to. Unless you've lived it, you have no idea how it feels to deal with the influences of a vindictive BM and her efforts to meddle in and control every aspect of the life that you're trying to build with your husband and his kids.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Submitted by not2sureimsanea... on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 9:37am

There are a lot of stereotypes with men and women that seem to be double standards. Another one is that when a woman gives her child up for adoption, she is seen as heroic, but if a guy does the same, he's seen as a deadbeat. Go figure. These are things that need to be changed slowly over time, and the first step is recognizing them. Smile

Topmuffin901's picture

Submitted by Topmuffin901 on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 9:40am

I think giving your child up for it to have a better life (whatever sex you are) is one of the most selfless and noble acts you can do. I applaud these people as I think if I were in their position I may be to selfless to do the right thing.

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 11:04am

Same when I divorced. My ex had our D every other weekend. Several people (including my own mother) said he was such a wonderful father for taking care of his own daughter a whole four days a month. No praise for me--not that I needed or expected it. But the double standard bugs me.