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Just observations

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Submitted by The_Upgrade on Mon, 03/15/2021 - 6:13am

DH and I hosted his friends from interstate over the weekend. And we were all sitting on the porch after dinner catching up. Friend remarked on how he and his sister don’t have a relationship. The last time he spoke to his sister was when she called him after years of absence asking to borrow money to sort out car troubles. When he said no she started verbally abusing him telling him he doesn’t know how tough she’s had it and how he’s got plenty he’s not sharing.

DH the goldfish

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Submitted by The_Upgrade on Tue, 12/22/2020 - 3:10pm

So here’s the thing. DH and I both have assets. And a 3yo. Most of those assets are held outside our super so it’ll be counted as part of our estate when we pass. My assets will be held in trust for our DD bypassing DH so it doesn’t become a part of his asset pool and accessible to SD. His estate however will be divided between me, SD and DD. According to the lawyer there’s no way around it since SD and toxic BM would have a high chance of successfully challenging the will if nothing is left for SD. Better leave her a token amount and call it a day.

DH still not getting it

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Submitted by The_Upgrade on Tue, 09/22/2020 - 11:03am

A bit of an update. So we’ll start with the silver lining. DH is in therapy (which is a huge thing for him to go as he’s finally accepted he has a problem). I think he’s landed a good therapist. The first few sessions she just let DH talk so she could get an idea on the history. Recent session she asked him to think about what he says and what he expects people to hear with those words vs. what they actually hear.

Anyone else get turned off when skids are mentioned?

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Submitted by The_Upgrade on Sun, 08/30/2020 - 8:30am

It's night time here and DD has just been put to bed. DH and I were sitting in bed scrolling through our ipads, catching up on social media feeds and just unwinding for the day. Glance at his screen and noticed last message was to SD - after we had agreed let's see what happens if he goes no contact and stops chasing her until the end of September. Recap - she's collected her birthday gift. Then ignored all subsequent texts. Father's day and DH's birthday is coming up.

Mixed feelings and a bit of a rambling rant

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Submitted by The_Upgrade on Sun, 08/02/2020 - 9:46am

DH is looking into counselling to address his issues about SD. I'm happy because I think counselling is a step in the right direction but some of the things he says makes me uneasy. Like how he really wants to have a relationship with her, etc. And when he asked me for my thoughts I asked what was the point of going to counselling? To chase your daughter who wants nothing to do with you or to set up better boundaries and move on with your life?

2 steps forward, 1 step back - how long did it take you?

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Submitted by The_Upgrade on Thu, 06/04/2020 - 11:52am

Had a lovely day yesterday. Then we hit a bit of a downer tonight. DH has been in a sad mood coming to terms that SD may never talk to him again. And as he asked me if I could watch DD for a bit so he could try and give SD a call I couldn’t help the expression that flitted across my face (oops). DH caught it and we devolved into a tit for tat of the last year and one of the lines he threw out was that he gets where my negative emotions comes from, he just wonders if I’ll ever get over it. 

Aaaaaaand she’s back

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Submitted by The_Upgrade on Tue, 05/26/2020 - 10:44am

BM crawled out of her hole to ask DH for photos of SD that she can use for “the party”. DH posted them off, received thanks, end of communication. It would be great if it really ends with that but sooner or later I know BM will resurface again with more passive aggressive crazy, then act like DH is being unreasonable if he ignores a reasonable request straight after. Just to refresh, the last contact from BM can be summed up as “how much money do you want to give me so SD can have the special birthday that she deserves, no way are you to show up and by the way fk you”.

Private gloating moment

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Submitted by The_Upgrade on Mon, 04/13/2020 - 11:38pm

Overheard DH catching up with his best friend over the phone today. Covid19 doom and gloom, etc. Then he briefly touched on the topic of SD. Hasn't seen her all year due to social distancing and estrangement. Well let's be honest - 99% due to estrangement and 1% due to social distancing. He's still sending her periodic text messages. Hope you're well, keeping safe, etc.    *crickets*

Thoughts - how do you create a crazy BM?

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Submitted by The_Upgrade on Mon, 03/23/2020 - 6:13pm

The common thought around here about SD is "well no wonder she turned out the way she did". Entitled, selfish and thinks the world revolves around her. Because BM has created a dynamic by putting her child on a pedastal where she's constantly rescued, told she deserves things without earning it through hard work or good behaviour. 

So it's a no brainer what screwed up the child. But what creates the HCGUBM personality? Surely at some stage in their lives they were sane women who once thought "I would never that to my child" when they heard of other crazy antics. 

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