Throw this fish back. He's just the boyfriend and you're not married you shouldn't have let them move into your home.

I am flashing back to the time when my 2 oldest granddaughters were about 3.  One is my son's daughter, the other is my SD's girl.  In my mistaken parity policy, I had them together so no one could accuse me of giving one more attention than the other.  They were very diffetent people and looking back, I shouldn't have done that but that's another story.

I'm pretty laid back but I had 2 ironclad rules: 1) they had to be in a seatbelt in the car and 2) they had to wash their hands after going to the bathroom.   Your post reminds me of the epic struggles I had getting them to wash their hands.  What is it about kids rebelling against that?  

I think it's time your bf found a home for him and his son, y'know, the way that grownups do. Your home should  not be ruined just because your bf doesn't parent him. Not your problem. Tell him he needs space to bond with his son. Preferably before the end of next week. 

He's only seven! No, he's seven. He attends school. He can pass pinworms to others outside the family. His behavior is not acceptable. 

A case of pinworms should have opened BF's eyes. Does he understand how pinworms spread?

BF needs to supervise his son in the bathroom evey time, until hygiene improves. Otherwise, you can look forward to another case of pinworms.

He not parenting his DS.  He not putting the effort into Turing his DS into a real person. Not a Animal.  So blame him first.

This also means nothing will ever change only going to get worst.  Time for a exit plan. Get BF out with SS to there own place so they can live in filth 

So disgusting! I could never live that way.

kick them out!!

BF says I'm over reacting and he's only 7

Really? Because I have NEVER known a 7 year old to did this. Never. It's not normal and it's not okay and you are not over reacting.

BF & SS sort of just moved themselves in during lockdown without asking me.

This is also NOT okay and you should have him move out, pronto. Where did he live before he invaded your lovely new flat?

Seven is plenty old enough to wash his hands after using the bathroom, and certainly old enough to not randomly wet himself. Sounds he's got some developmental or mental health issues, as well as at least one permissive parent (your SO).

I'm not quite sure how someone just up and moves in without any discussion, but it's time to talk about it.

Does he pay you rent? Or has he helped yourself to your home without cost? 

For what it is worth, my (almost) 5 year old washes his hands every time he uses the bathroom. 

At 7, washing hands should not be a problem. Also, SS should be cleaning up after himself if he cannot aim properly or makes another mess. SS should be cleaning up walls, light switches, etc if he gets BM on them (which wouldnt have hapened if he washed his hands). Then SO should be cleaning behind him to ensure it is done properly.

Your SO is a poor parent. Tell him step it up or step it out. 

This is just rank. 

Honestly, the "only 7" bullshit just doesn't cut it. 

Send your BF and his child back to their own place. 

You worked and saved hard to buy your lovely place. Don't let them ruin it.

Honestly. I don't know how you have put up with it.

My kid is seven. He washes his hands. Every. Time. Not just after the bathroom but before putting away clean dishes or helping cook dinner. 
 

you have done an outrageous amount to help...and this is just hand washing. Please look five and ten years down the line and the things that are reasonable that you try and correct and how a) the kid might escalate (as you've seen from poop now decorating surfaces) and b) how your partner is going to justify it rather than be a team with you to fix things. Because it's not "just" this. This is a lesson in how the parenting and boundaries will look FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

this isn't a red flag; it's a red billboard. I would break up but at the very least insist he move back into his place and keep that boundary. If he won't respect you please at least respect yourself.

Ok, at first i thought you might be being nit-picky about the hand washing. But then i kept reading and this goes waaaay beyond just hygiene. Rubbing feces all over the house and now you all have pinworms? Yeah, gross. And your SO acts like it's no big deal to live in filth and feces to the point you have worms. That's the worst part of all. Your heart is not too small. Only someone who really, really is trying to be a good person would even ask themselves that. 

Okay, I'm going to go on a rant, here, because I've had a couple of glasses of wine and we see this crap so much on this site, and I am so sick of seeing women give up their power and their independence, and their lives, to these jackass men.

Women seem to bend over backwards for these losers and their loser kids. They give up their space, their CLEAN space, their privacy, their peace and quiet, their sanity, their health, their self respect, and a whole lot of other things (MONEY). Why? Is the dick that good? Lots of good dick out there. Also lots of men who will treat you as you deserve to be treated. The two are not exclusive.

These men, these awful parents, who are awful partners, are just taking advantage wherever they can. They do.not.care.about.you. They care about themselves and making their own life easier. All while intruding on YOUR life and making your life miserable. And, again, they don't care how miserable you are.

I was young, once. I let a guy (who had 2 kids EOWE) move in with me. It lasted about 4 months before I had had enough because it was not a relationship based on respect. It was not a mutual decision to move in together (and it was WAY too soon). It was just a convenience for HIM. It was doomed from the start (even though his kids were well behaved). One should have a say about who one lives with, especially when it is YOUR home.

Seriously, stop this nonsense. Now.

You deserve better. You deserve someone who respects you. Someone who is a decent enough person to actually be a good parent AND a good partner, who takes your concerns seriously.

Send this one on his way, he is not for you.

I was 30 when I met my DH, we have been together for 25 years. He treats me the same as he did when we first started dating, like a queen. He parented his daughter and we have never had issues as far as that was concerned. He never, in a million years, would have justified or accepted his daughter spreading poo all over our home.

You have now lived with this guy and see who he really is. Is he really who you want?

It makes me nauseous to think about the OP's lovely home, with piss everywhere, and faecal handprints on multiple surfaces. 

I HOPE SHE TAKES EVERYONE'S ADVICE and kicks the feral twosome out of her haven. 

I could not respect, let alone love a man with such a poor approach to parenting.

My boys were taught from the word go about hygiene....hand washing, cleaning up any little accidents etc (we all know that little boys aims can be a bit hit and miss, lol). 

Haha...I just remembered an occasion a couple of years ago. Ex, his daughter and I were staying the night at his mother's place and we all attended a family event. Ex SD got trashed, and in the morning I went to use the toilet and discovered she had vomited and shat all over the seat. I marched back, woke him up and told him to haul her sorry arse out of bed and make her clean it up. 

He didn't, of course. He went and cleaned it himself. 

OP, ask theme to move out.  If you've been trying through out all of the UK lock downs to get your SO to address the issues with his son and things are only getting worse, then it is time to let go.  It may mean that you no longer have a relationship with your SO but no relationship is worth having someone spread biohazardous material across your home.

OP, you have received excellent advice and I hope you follow it. Please take back your life. 

BTW, if your user name is your real name, please consider changing it to something anonymous. Click on the Contact Us link in the bottom-right corner of the page or send a message to Dawn-Moderator. 

We've been through some gross things with my SS10 -- some very recently. I agree with others that "he's only 7" is a lame excuse and an indication that things will not improve. They are both disrespecting your property, your feelings and your boundaries -- not to mention your health. In my case, DH is a germaphobe. While he can be ineffectual in his parenting, he's never made excuses about SS's more disgusting habits and so far they've been handled. When SS was having accidents, he was made to clean them up. When SS was faking showers, DH actually stood at the bathroom door and checked soap and shampoo levels daily. That's the sort of thing that needs to happen to address this stuff.

I would definitely tell them they need to find new accommodations, poste haste. They've nullified whatever privileges they've been given and BF's response shows that you can expect more of the same.