I am sooooo glad you had a judge that could feel your pain! Wonder if she is on here somewhere? Wouldn't that be funny.

Blogging freely and saying what you need to say is best. I understand others not want to read possibly derogatory comments about Skids or whatnot, but everyone has a different view on how their life is going. If you censor all your blogs to be happy go lucky and 'omg life is great' we would still be left with all those hardened feelings inside. I know someone is going to say "There's always therapy" but how many people actually say what they need to get out in therapy? Not many. Because even with a therapist, some feel they cannot say certain things. When you can go to a place and blog to get your feelings out and no one knows you or others can sympathize, you should do it. Some of the stuff I say on here I wouldn't say to my mother, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't say it at all. Theres a lot of things I wouldn't say to my mum. So blog freely, freedom of speech and if someone feels raw about it, they shouldn't start yelling and blasting you on your blog, just stop reading it/them and if it's a real issue for them, PM the blogger. We all have to remember, no matter how similar our situations are, we all handle them differently physically, emotionally and mentally.

~*Fading*~
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I've already had BM try to use things like that against me and she just came across as pathetic, vengeful and crazy. I have never used her name or identifying traits (there are a lot of ugly, crazy BMs out there) and I honestly wouldn't care that much if she read my blogs. In one of her pathetic attempts to hurt me she distributed my written response to an email she sent me at work. She, amazingly, was a supervisor and made the mistake of distributing my letter to people she was supervising. We live in a small community and know all the same people. Unfortunately for her, her actions backfired and everybody was disgusted with her attempts to make me look bad. She was eventually fired from her job, unsurprisingly. I don't know why she thought it would work, but everyone who read the letter could tell that it was a direct response to a letter from her and that they weren't getting the full story. She was trying to make me seem like a crazy bitch and what she did was actually slanderous to me and considered active defamation of character. She took a private letter, failed to show the letter it was in response to, and distributed it in an obvious attempt to turn people against me. I had my lawyer write a letter to her supervisor, alerting her to the fact that one of her managers was distributing personal letters to employees in an effort to slander and defame a past employee. She was promptly fired. That's what happens to stupid BMs who try to use our expression against us. She fought it and said that what I said was defamation of her character and was beyond enraged when the lawyers pointed out that my communication was directly to her and that unlike her, I didn't share or distribute anything with the intent to defame her! It's not illegal to tell someone what you think and express yourself, fortunately. Unlike her, I am not the white trash poster girl and my conflicts with her have been kept between me and her. I discuss her on here, obviously, but I do not name her and my goal is self expression, not to call her out as a psycho. Obviously, I could not have a poorer opinion of her as a person and mother, but I'm certainly not passing out copies of the letters she has sent me or exposing her by name!

I am completely honest and open in my private journals, with my family, husband and best friends, but other than here, which is anonymous, I have kept my situation private and don't discuss it with my in-laws, casual friends, co-workers and acquaintances. My goal on here is not to expose her, it's to have an outlet for my feelings and frustrations, to get support and advice and to give support and advice. There are lots of things I wouldn't do or say in front of my in-laws. For example, I would not be comfortable making out with my husband in front of them and I certainly wouldn't invite them into our bedroom! That doesn't mean I'm ashamed of getting it on with my hubby, but some things are appropriate to do and discuss in front of certain people and some things aren't. I would absolutely tell my in-laws about how I feel about BM, but maybe not in the same way that I would talk about it with my best friend or other understanding SMs on here. It's just a matter of setting and appropriateness in my opinion...

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they will kill you." ~Oscar Wilde

Hey there TheOtherMom!

Thank you SO much for addressing this… it’s a concern I’ve been living with since I started writing so openly here. I’ve been REALLY afraid to mention it to my DH, he’s so sensitive about my feelings and how I’m “dealing” with being a (new/step) mom… I’m just terrified he’d look at this as my reaching out because I’m completely unhappy or something. Every stinkin day I want to run up to him and tell him how much this place and you wonderful people are helping me emotionally, or just tell him something wise or funny that I read here! But knowing him like I do I know he’d want to read every word I’ve posted and then dissect it like Sherlock on a hunt. And I know for a FACT the first thing out of his mouth would be… “Don’t I give you all the support you need?” because he’ll never understand that there’s just some things as a stepparent I just can’t discuss with him without hurting him! Like Sugarstep said… “It's just a matter of setting and appropriateness”.

And then there’s Mother Russia… every time I post or blog about her I wonder what she’d think if she came across Step Talk and read my exposing our personal family lives this way. Even without names… it is extremely personal information. Not that I think she’d pursue any legal reprimands… but I’m sure it would be a thorn in our relationship. I’m getting sweaty thinking her eyes are on this right now…

*waves*
“Hey buddy!”

And welcome back!!!!

This joint is all the therapy I’ll ever need!