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Some things better left unsaid!

texaswonder028's picture

Submitted by texaswonder028 on Mon, 05/14/2007 - 9:43am

Well what could have been good went so bad, my boyfriend offered to cookout for me and two of my friends for mothers day. Only it started raining. So i told him "WE" can cook in the house. So he proceeded to sit in the livingroom while I cooked dinner. Each time I asked him to do something he acted so put out. But here's the topper. I told him on FATHERS DAY he can cook me dinner, he said why your not a mother.... what a blow. I said yeah your right, remember that when you want me to care for your son. I play mother like I play wife, too bad they don't have a card for that! He said that came out all wrong, I said don't worry about it. I finished dinner, visited with my friends and as soon as they left, I jumped in the bath and went to bed. Happy Mothers Day and goodnight.
Believe me I didn't expect anything, but to hear him say it like that hurt worse. Oh well until next year.
Kim

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Krissy's picture

Submitted by Krissy on Mon, 05/14/2007 - 2:52pm

Kim--:( I'm so sorry. Honestly, some people are totally clueless. I really just don't get where a comment like the one he made comes from. I guess some men are just very literal creatures...that does NOT excuse them, but...my father never got my mother a card on MD because he'd say "Well you're not MY mother" yet he'd buy her flowers and take her out, just wouldn't give her a card. RANDOM. Good for you that you walked away from that bullshit conversation. You should go for a few weeks without doing a damned thing for him OR his son and see how quickly he learns to not let it come out "all wrong" ever again.

Hugs!!
Krissy

texaswonder028's picture

Submitted by texaswonder028 on Mon, 05/14/2007 - 3:49pm

I appreciate your sympathy, I just couldn't believe he actually said it. Considering how he tells everybody how he wishes I was the mom to his son. I truely didn't expect to get anything from him or to have anything said about it either way. Like I said, I would have rather he said nothing. I do feel like I am always trying to hold it together. I am not a mom. I went from girlfriend to babysitter I guess. A 8 month old is very demanding and I get tired of him being passed from house to house. So on the weekends when we have him I bring him to work with me. I would rather he be with me than at a babysitters house. There is a lack of stablity for this child and I have put a halt to all of the passing around.
I have really took a step back and looked at the situation and how much has been expected of me. I do all of the wifely duties, while playing mommy on the weekends. I kinda knew what I was getting into but sometimes I get tired of being pulled in so many directions.
Kim

southernshellgirl's picture

Submitted by southernshellgirl on Sat, 09/22/2007 - 12:40pm

Oh Kim, It's just amazing how much I relate to you. The feeling is so strong to take care of this child and protect it. The desire to make things right in his world without having any rights or legal place to do it. It can be unbearable at times when BM is going to partys all the time and my H is talking non stop about all the things he wants to do to his truck and I'm about to scream because I can't sleep at night thinking about SD's future.
My H doesn't get it either sometimes what it really does to you inside to play the role of mommy. I didn't want or expect anything from my H on the second mother's day either. SD was 1yr,10 mo. old. Then the day of I got so dissapointed and couldn't hide it when he didn't even aknowledge it. I cried and he apologized. When I got back from visiting my mom and crying on her shoulder my H, presented me with small scrapbook he made for me with my scrapbooking materials. It was all pictures of me and SD and he made a little ryme to go along with it about how she loves me because I make her daddy happy. Keep in mimd my H had never scrapbooked before, but it is still one of the most beautiful gifts he's ever given me.
I'm afraid when it comes to our men we can never know just what will come out of their mouths. It is so true though that those closest to us can hurt us the most. There have been times when I wanted to hand Sd over to him and say "I'm done" after some of the insensitive things he has said, but I could never do that to SD. THen there are times when my H lets me know how much he appreiates me and all I have done for him and SD. He says he believes I am the sole reason SD is such a joy and gives me 100% credit for him having a relationship w/ her at all. Like I said, you just never know what to expect.
And I really do think you should let SS call you mama. You deserve it. Smile
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I---
I took the one less traveled by,
and that made all the difference. -Robert Frost-

hangingin's picture

Submitted by hangingin on Mon, 10/15/2007 - 11:43pm

ANY old cow can have a calf,but it a mother to have a CHILD, either way,the old fashioned way or claiming a child as yours.That little boy IS YOUR SON TOO,you just were lucky enough not to have to go the physical pain of having him. You help raise that boy, SO YOU ARE HIS MOTHER!!! MB was the incubator!!
hangingin