Longtime lurker (like, years) and I've finally been moved to post tonight. BM brought SD 3.5 to our house over an hour late, sat on the floor in the doorway (self-pitying body language), did not say hello, barely acknowledged me as she chattered to my FI about nonsense. After she left, my SD wouldn't engage me in playtime, lied to her dad that she hugged and kissed me hello (she ignored me), didn't really want to engage me in storytime (all of my involvement happened at FI's prompting/invitation) and finally told her dad "I love Daddy and Mommy." He said "and you love Teakettle too, right? Isn't that what I just heard you say? I know you didn't leave her out, did you?" and she ignored and ignored him until I just left the room.

BM has been increasingly immature, territorial, selfish and generally difficult to deal with since we got engaged two weeks ago and I moved in last week. This had been planned for six months and she knew about it but maybe the reality of it happening was too much for her. I don't know what she's telling my SD, but since SD never behaved this way before it's obvious it's something the BM is doing. I don't even think at 3.5 she understands the concept of me moving in. She's always been a little possessive of her daddy but that's understandable, she's 3.

This is pretty run-of-the-mill: mentally unbalanced BM setting crappy example for SD, inappropriately acting out emotionally towards my FI, and now is making it about her AGAIN by making a scene either overtly (with FI) or covertly (when I'm involved) and we all have to wait for BM to catch up emotionally with the situation before we can all move on like adults.