OT kinda - Baptism, Annulment and the Church - really just a vent
So DD is almost 4 months old and I'm trying to get a baptism scheduled for her but as usual I keep running into roadblocks because DH & I are not married in the church. We are not married in the church because DH doesn't want to have to go thru the annulment process which I kind of understand but I swear if someone has the nerve to tell me that I'm going to hell again because of this I'm going to hurt them.
We had basically no problem haivng DS baptized 3 years ago because the church where my mom worked for the school took care of it for us while we were home for Christmas with all my cousins and stuff. Yes the priest spoke with us about an annulment but said he would not deny the sacrement to a child.
Fastforward to DD and I swear I almost hurt someone yesterday - I was in tears.
The first place I called was where DH & I took the baptismal class for DS and the Deacon that I spoke with just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that we were members of a parrish. We attend on base with my parents but can't registre there because we are not military and my dad is retired. I got off that call just a tad discouraged but understand that he sounded a little old.
The next place was the most horirble phone call ever - this woman proceeded to tell me all my faults for not being married in the church and that we would have to not only attend the baptismal class again but also a marriage class and we would have to defend why DH has not gotten an annulment. Basically we're all going to hell and how dare I do this to my children. Plus I had a ton of paperwork I had to get from my brother and his wife to be the godparents - mutiple letters from their church about good standing and references. It was insane!
Thankfully the 3rd place I called was wonderful - the girl was like have you taken the class and have the letter - I said yes, she said bring me the letter and a birth certificate along with a letter of premission from the 1st church and we're good to go for 12/18. They take my word that brother is married in the church and they are in good standing. I'm getting the letter of permission for the 1st place this afternoon and the young man at their office even spoke with the priest there and said to let them know if we had any other issues and they would take care of it for us.
How can the someone try to deny the sacrement to a child because of the parent's issues? It's crazy! But thankfully, everything is going to be taken care of and my family is thrilled beyond belief!
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Comments
Because they make the rules.
Because they make the rules.
Do you regularly attend church? Why that particular demonination? Why not fiund a church that is more accepting of your situation?
If you don't want to go to the 'bother' of seeking an annulment then having your child baptized in that church can't be so important.
Yes I do regularly attend
Yes I do regularly attend church and I'm Catholic. We attend as a family with my parents on base but they can not to the baptism because we don't fall under their archdiocese so I have to go to a local church to have it taken care of. Of course it's important to me - I was raised Catholic but fell in love with someone who wasn't. Doesn't make me any less of a Catholic
I personally can't seek an annulment for my husband - he has to do that. But that brings up the question of why - he's not Catholic and was not previously married in a church - why does he have to get an annulment
We were able to get an
We were able to get an annulment really easily. Neither my DH nor I were married in the Catholic Church. We were both raised Southern Baptist. We went through the RCIA program and became Catholic as a family about 8 years ago.
I have learned that it is much easier if you were not married in the Catholic Church. And the specific parish and priest makes a huge difference. Our priest made it really easy. He met with both of separately. I guess at that point, he determined that our previous marriages should be annuled. And he took care of all the paperwork. It really was that easy. But I've heard others say that the process was very time-consuming and very expensive.
I think it's pretty neat. As far as the Catholic Church is concerned, I am the first and the only wife.
My XW and I were married in
My XW and I were married in the Church. I am not Catholic. She is. She ran off with her geriatric fortune 500 executive sugar daddy shortly after our 2nd anniversary.
She never annulled our marriage. I run in to my XILs periodically. Every time I do my XFIL breaks in to tears. He and I were pretty close during my engagement/marriage to their daughter. Mostly what he is upset about is that his daughter can not receive communion and his out-of-wedlock grand kids have some issues because their mother is not in good standing with the church. I couldn't care less about my XWs issues with the Church but the kids should not suffer because of her status and my XFIL should have to lament his daughter’s status in the Church. My XILs are good people.
He has asked ME to get an annulment since his daughter hasn't. Since I am not a Catholic an annulment is irrelevant to me other than that my XFIL would appreciate it if I had my marriage to his daughter annulled. I would not even know how to go about getting an annulment if I was interested in going through the process.