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Sort of OT - Christmas Lists

strugglingSM's picture

BM just sent SSs' Christmas lists (that they've "worked on") out to DH, his family, and her family.

Each list has 5-7 items on it, with only one or two that are below $50 and some of the items below seem like things BM has added. For example, one has a $15 pair of basic sweatpants on there and the other has a $20 school backpack.

Am I the only one whose mother insisted I put items on my list that were both affordable and easy for people to find?

Just finding things to be mad about

strugglingSM's picture

I went away for four days after Thanksgiving to attend a family event by myself. DH had SSs from Wednesday through Sunday.

While I'm gone, DH again reverts to Disney dad with meals out, movies, and a constant supply of snacks and treats. Going to the movies and getting an extra large popcorn, soda, and candy was not enough. They had to go out to get ice cream after the movie.

I had some fall decorations out and one of them is damaged and DH says he "can't remember" what happened to it.

Sister-in-law shade

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Thanksgiving dinner was DH, SSs, MIL, BIL, SIL, BIL & SIL's 2 kids, SIL's parents, and MIL's friend.

SIL did not even look in my direction. I talked to both of her parents and interacted with her kids and didn't even get so much as a side glance from her. As soon as she arrived, she left the room to supposedly deal with her five year old who was "feeling shy" and when we left, she also left the room when we were saying our goodbyes.

I'm sick of being a stepmom!

strugglingSM's picture

Something happened today that wasn't a big deal, but for some reason it just pushed me over the edge.

Last weekend, special snowflake SS came up to me and said, "mom said she would buy a basketball hoop for us to have over here if it's ok." I replied, "well, your dad doesn't really want one and we'd have to talk to the neighbors about it, so that's a nice offer, but we won't take it."

Money Troubles....for BM

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When DH and BM were married, they lived beyond their means and rarely paid bills. In 2011, they were both working (BM was making six figures and DH was making close to that with overtime), but - according to DH's credit report - they paid all of their bills at least 30 days and sometimes 60 days late. BM's profession is working as an accountant, so she should have been able to manage this, but she doesn't. I asked DH what they were spending all of their money on and he couldn't give me an answer.

Twenty Texts

strugglingSM's picture

This was our visitation with SSs and over the two days, DH received no fewer than 20 angry texts from BM.

Issue #1 - Before arriving on Friday, one SS texted me to say he needed help with a school assignment that he hadn't gotten an F on. I told him, that was fine, I'd see if I could find the book at the library. Less than an hour later, DH picked him up and, of course, he forgot his school bag. He still wanted to do the assignment, so he insisted that DH contact BM to ask if he could come back to the house and pick up his school bag.

Living with the past

strugglingSM's picture

I've read several posts on this page about how as SMs we often have to hear from the kids about how wonderful BMs are or how we're always compared to BM.

I'll take that to an even higher level...I feel like because DH has children, I'm always living with his past. I'm not saying that his children are his past and that I'm annoyed that I have to live with that. I'm referring to the fact that because DH has children, I'm always hearing stories about what his life was like when he was with BM. From his children, from him, and from his family.

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