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Great expectations.....

stepwitch's picture

Submitted by stepwitch on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 1:30am

So...Christmas morning I wake up to a pager going off at 6:45am....ge'ez! Already been out all night long seeing pts. Short one nurse, I covered 7 counties all by myself. So after being sleep deprived and putting over 250 miles on my little car, that pager was the last thing I wanted to hear. I left my bs sitting on the couch telling him not to open gifts until I get home.

Get home....open gifts..everyone happy.......then off to the inlaws...sigh

I knew sd would show up, but I had emotionally prepared myself. I was ready for her to walk in like she so mistreated, last I heard her hair was purple or pink or something, dating a tattoed pierced freaky kid. I was so damn too tired to even really care!! So, she walks in...her mouth piercing gone, hair freshly dyed brown, and with a handsome young man on break from the airforce. Wow! Oh she also brought cookies, that I'm sure was from the frozen section of the grocery. Whatever-gasp!!

She hugged me & told me how muched she loved me. I hugged her back and asked who the honey was. She said that she had to cut that other kid out of her life!! I don't know what to say....hmm is she finally growing up? I'm not holding my breath, she has a reputation of a master manipulor....amyway. Had a great day-no drama- made for a good day, I just wished that I felt better.

Hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas!

Comments

Sia's picture

Submitted by Sia on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 6:11am

maybe at least of the stepbrats around here has possibly gotten some sense? Glad you had a drama free day! Smile

secondwife20's picture

Submitted by secondwife20 on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 8:27am

that you had a wonderful Christmas! Smile And who knows? Maybe SD really did grow up. Wouldn't that lift quite a load off your shoulders?

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:19am

Wow, is this the same SD? I hope and pray she gets it together, that would be great!! I hope you get some rest, it is really incredible of you to do all that, then celebrate with everyone too. You rock honey!

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

stepwitch's picture

Submitted by stepwitch on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 1:30pm

I'm not holding my breath or opening my home up yet!! There is still no trust on my part. Like I've said, she is a master maniulator. But I'm glad Xmas went well.

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

Sita Tara's picture

Submitted by Sita Tara on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 11:25am

One thing I never got to post on here was our last visit with SD's shrink before she moved. I think I told you some of it, or maybe you read it elsewhere a while back.

Anyway, the Dr said her DIL is also PD, and that the Dr thought her DIL would NEVER improve. Their relationship has always been strained, somethings worse something better, because the DR was "onto" her due to her expertise. The DR's training prevailed, and she took a hands off approach with her DIL, allowing her son to take care of his own relationship (that's gotta be hard for a shrink, don't ya think?"

Anyway...the DR said in the past few years (they've been married for 5-10 I would guess) her DIL is starting to soften, much due to her son being the right person to help her let go of the PD coping mechanisms that threaten their relationships with others. Her son is always patient, deeply loyal, etc, and the DR thinks that her DIL is finally in a state of "recovery" (which is how PDs who are learning to function more normally are labeled in the psych world.) So the DR told us, if we're lucky, SD will find such a partner in life herself one day. She told us we weren't the ones who could do it for SD, no matter how much we wanted to. It's not possible in a parent child relationship, at least when they are growing up, because the PD always feels the parent is trying to control them, rather than help them. Plus, as we've seen with SD in her new best friendship, PD people absorb a great deal of the person with whom they are enamored most. SD has a new best friend who is exceptionally grounded (they are on the same basketball team at school) Therefore SD is becoming more grounded, and less "on" for attention. This friend "peer corrects" SD when SD does something inappropriate, rather than feed off of it, or encourage it. We are encouraging this relationship as much as possible.

So...SW my hope for you is that your SD has found herself a centered, grounded, person, and that she is inspired to continue on a positive path in dating him. Maybe he will be her compass toward healthy relationships.

I am so happy for you that she was positive on Christmas. That's just awesome for you and your DH.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

stepwitch's picture

Submitted by stepwitch on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 1:32pm

Of would be good if this dude would continue to date her, but my guess is that after spending any amount of time in the disfunctional home she lives in...well Im betting he will run. And what about when he goes back to the airforce....????? I guess time will tell.

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

Dawn-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Dawn-Moderator on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 12:08pm

That's great! I hope she has seen the light!

Dawn

stepwitch's picture

Submitted by stepwitch on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 10:01pm

Good to see ya!! Miss you much!!

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

SerendipitySM's picture

Submitted by SerendipitySM on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 7:32am

Oh SW - I have missed you so much!!!! I still have to get my ass down to TN to see you. I am glad you had such a great holiday and that SD "seems" to be growing up - you're right though - only time will tell!!

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

Harleygal's picture

Submitted by Harleygal on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 5:00pm

Maybe she's grateful now that's she's had to deal with BM again. Is it possible that she's seeing what she had in you and what she could lose?

sweetthing's picture

Submitted by sweetthing on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 7:53am

you got a pleasant surprise out of her. You deserve it. I really hope for everyones sakes that she realizes the errors of her way and is trying to be a better person.

sarahbernheart's picture

Submitted by sarahbernheart on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 10:50am

I am so happy you had a some stress free family holiday.
you deserve it- whether it is for a little while or not ENJOY the calm.

hugs to you!

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

northernsiren's picture

Submitted by northernsiren on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 2:26pm

not all of us pierced tattooed folks are bad Smile

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

stepwitch's picture

Submitted by stepwitch on Mon, 12/29/2008 - 3:03pm

I have a tat and a nose & naval piercing. I think they are find when done tastefully. After all, I'm 37 ( for another week anyway) and a professional. Not loaded down with them and have no life ambitions.... There is a difference. Hope I didn't offend.....

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!