One week 18....Care to guess on how many tattoos and piercings?
Well while on Spring Break with BM of the year, SD just posted on Twitter her new tattoo and belly button ring and nose piercing. Add that to all the other ear piercings she already had. Here is where I tell DH, I no longer ever want that in any family picture. I have not even done our family album on Shutterfly since the vacation she destroyed. I just don't have the heart to do it. I have done them for every family trip.
Everytime I think I can get past the crap she does, she does more!!! Not coming in my house and need to remind DH of that...He must be so proud.
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yeah seriously! BM2
yeah seriously! BM2 approached DH about SS15 getting a tattoo when he was 13! Sure it's because her 19 year old boy toy was all tatted up as well as her 19 year old son (not DHs) cause ya know she likes her men to look like her sons, or is it her sons to look like her men?? Anyhow..
SD16 is pretty tame. She got her belly button pierced last year, but that is about it, to my knowledge she has never asked for tattoo, or other piercings. Since she lives with us now, DH would NEVER allow it. She got the belly button piercing while living with BM of course.
Here is what I ended up doing
Here is what I ended up doing when my ssons behaved and dressed appallingly. They were excluded. No photos. No outings. Not happening. If you try to ruin my plans I leave you in my dust.
When DH tried to include them I refused. I seldom refuse him anything because he doesn't make demands. I told him that while they chose to dress like gangstas and used slang talk I would not be with them. I would not be associated with them. No way. He was welcome to entertain them but take them on vacation? No. Take them out to dinner? No. And if he had a problem he could compare notes with his mother and see what she says. Because I know damned well she was on my side.
I refused to be seen in public with them for a few years until they got the big fat clue that dressing tidily and watching your language and behaviour when out with your stepmother meant you ate out where they had table linen and glasses. And not formica tables and papercups.
Speaking as a successful,
Speaking as a successful, college educated, custodial stepparent who also has a full sleeve and multiple piercings... I'm a little offended by the comments being made.
Thanks for the tip.
Thanks for the tip.
How crazy is it that people
How crazy is it that people today still aren't accepting of tattoos/piericings? I have a bachelors degree and a fabulous job that pays pretty decently, and I have a full sleeve and am currently working on my other arm. It's never been an issue for me in the business world. I let my dedication and work ethic speak for itself.
If any of my family told me that I would be excluded from family photos because of tattoos, then they wouldn't be seeing me or my kids for a while. 
On the other hand, if she is UNDER 18 and someone else is consenting for her to do this, then it's a different story. I would never let either of my kids get a tattoo or piercing until they are legal age to do so.
It may sound old fashioned
It may sound old fashioned and frankly I don't care. She is 18 and her decisions will affect her outcome. I do not like tattoos or piercing, in my mind you do not respect the body god gave you and the things you like now, you will not like on ten years let alone 50 years. She, at 18 is not the person she will be on ten years and making these decisions now is stupid. He'll I don't even have clothes that I owned ten years ago that I would wear now. Maybe a leather coat, but that is it and only because it is designer vintage. Politically incorrect, maybe, but how I feel.
I own an M&A firm and will not hire this. Sorry it is just not done in my industry and I am perceived by those that work for me. I work with many firms and have never seen a tattoo on anyone sitting at a closing table. Doesn't happen. We told her this when she did the piercing at 14. She has been planning this for years. Mentioned it to DH and he doesn't want to discuss it. Clearly upset. Nothing we can do. Just told him to never expect that to be in any family portrait our any gathering with my family. Too embarrassing for me. And honestly, I don't trust my mouth not to say something hostile about this, so it is best if she continues to not be a part of this family. I am too damn conservative to be around this girl.
Seriously, she can exclude
Seriously, she can exclude me. I honestly would appreciate it, since this and her other outrageous destructive behaviors are embarrassing and hard to deal with. I have raised two other kids who do not have these issues and would prefer she not influence them. My BS19 is an honor student at a University here in a difficult engineering program who just landed a prestigious internship. Her brother who we have full custody of, has social issues and has managed to bring his grades up to honor roll status. Her behavior is embarrassing to them. They will not tell anyone that they are related. My SS is excited that she is leaving school and he no longer has to see her in the hall.
We live in a very conservative town and this type of stuff is frowned upon. It may not be in some places, but it is here. That is a reality. You can do whatever you want, but there are consequences to your choices. You know people see the tattoos and pre-judge you. It is reality. You make that choice to not let it bother you. Well it bothers me, that she is going down this path. I do not have to have it in my life.
I got my eyebrow pierced when
I got my eyebrow pierced when I was 16. My mom said my sister could sign for me (she was over 18 at the time) but she refused to do it. LOL. Which doesn't make sense, because basically she was telling me it was okay to get it. Anywho I got the eyebrow ring and it lasted for about 6 months until I got tired of it. No big deal. I was a good kid. Just experimenting.
Now I did wait until I was 18 to get my tattoo and it's the only one I have. Only because the places where I really want a tattoo at wouldnt work for me as I work in the legal department for a bank.
SS had a tattoo when I first met him and he was 17 at the time. Not sure how old he was when he got it. BM's brother took him to get it. I was a little shocked since a tattoo is forever and to make that choice at a young age.....
But you work in a bank and
But you work in a bank and recognize that it will affect how you are perceived at work. So you have stopped with one. Unfortunately, most people don't. It appears to be an addiction for some and a slippery slope.
When you do this, you limit the industries you can work in. That is what we have tried to convey to her countless times. The tattoo is supposedly on her ankle and that will affect different pants you can wear at work. She may not care now, but I guarantee it will bother her. My father was military and had two tattoos and he has had both removed now and very painfully I might add. He was ashamed of them when he went into the business world when he retired from the military. His golf shirts, still showed the bottom of the tattoo and it bothered him.
The military removed them for him at the VA hospital. But, it was awful and his skin could not be exposed to sunlight without burning for years...This is a horrible process to undergo and the skin is never the same.
For tattoos I agree that at a
For tattoos I agree that at a young age its hard to understand the impact that it can have on you in the work field.
My tattoo that I have is on my ankle. And today I am actually wearing a skirt with no pantyhose and you can see the tat. But no one is really in the office today so I can get away with it. I risk it sometimes. }:)
My best friends husband is totally tatted up. Everywhere. Its kind of sexy
He works in a factory though so no one sees him or its more acceptable where he works. I guess he just knows that he isnt ever going to have a job that requires him to look "professional".
My eyebrow ring ended up getting ripped out accidentally and I have a scar from it. When I get my brows waxed you can really see the scar and I kind of dont like it. But then sometimes I look at it and its a reminder of my crazy youth.
My husband runs all of
My husband runs all of production in a large mfg company. One of the largest employers in our city. He has stopped hiring if you can see the tattoos. These are production workers making a little above minimum wage. He gave one guy a shot recently that had a web tattoo in his ear. They guy told him it was a mistake and he was embarassed about it and to give him a shot, no one would hire him. So he did, and then a week later, the guy didn't show and when he finally did, said the job was too difficult and he couldn't get up that early. Total BS. This happens all the time. No work ethic. Sounds stereo typing, but it is prevalent and he is tired of overlooking some of these things and getting burned by people not wanting to work. So he looks harder for the piercing holes and the tattoos and how they are dressed to see what their work ethic is. He hires as many people as he lets go each week. It is sad. Also, this is a Japanese company and they are really big on perception and make everyone wear a uniform including the CEO.
BM took SS to get piercings
BM took SS to get piercings starting at 15. Then she let him get a tattoo at 16. He has several tattoos and piercings now and imo most of them are sort of tacky.
IMO, 18 is still pretty young to make that decision. I think it should be 21. As a parent, I would never sign for my child to get either piercings or tattoos before they turned 18.
I so feel like sending BM a
I so feel like sending BM a text saying Mother of the year, you must be so proud. Stay away from SS, he has values and I don't want you corrupting him.
They are together on spring break. BM rented a condo for her. I know she is 18 and BM says she can't control her, but that is a cop out. She gives her a car and let her drive down there with 4 girlfriends in the car to cocoa beach. You pay the insurance and the car and the phone. All leverage. You can say no to her. Maybe if you started saying no when she was 5, you wouldn't have these issues.
Stupid...
I have several tattoos but
I have several tattoos but all but two are in places you can't see with clothes on. The two visible ones are easily covered with long sleeves and a ring. I realize that not every employer will be ok with visible tattoos, that is life. I currently work in an industry in which many people have tattoos, but I know it may not always be that way. I know that someday I may have a job where I will be required to keep them covered all the time, and I am not offended. Even in this day and age, tattoos are not 100% accepted, especially in a professional environment. Honestly, when I see a person with tattoos on their face or neck, my first thought is that person obviously doesn't want a job, ever. Closed minded? Maybe a little, but let's face it, face tattoos are sometimes off-putting, make the person look like they just got out of prison, and just aren't very acceptable at most jobs. A person like that has few choices for employment...tattoo shop, auto repair garage, etc. I feel the same way about face piercings...who is really going to take someone seriously that has a bullring in their nose or dimples pierced into their cheeks? Like it or it, it just doesn't look professional.
Completely agree and I feel
Completely agree and I feel the same way about the nose piercing. It is all anyone will now see when they look at her and she is such a stunning girl. It is almost a sin to do this when you are that beautiful. I just wish her personality would match her looks.
Thanks for your insight, I respect someone that realizes that this decision does affect the jobs you can get. Wish every person that does it was established in their career before they made such a permanent decision.