Wow, that's insane. All I can say is just be supportive to Dh and let him know he is doing the right thing. Ss's bm is just enabling the behavior and as long as everyone feeds in to your Ss's delinquent behavior by saving him the more he's going to think he's invincible and continue on with his criminalistic ways. I agree with you that if he stays in this time maybe he'll realize where his stupid behavior has gotten him and put a stop to it. Good luck.

stand strong with your dh. my dh's ex tried the same guilt trip, wanted him to go out and get a lawyer. the kid didn't even need one, but this is pretty much a glimpse into my future. Now that ss is 18, not in school, doesn't have a job, posts about selling drugs on twitter, I see some serious charges coming his way. I've told dh in the past if he ever tries to touch his retirement to bail his kids out of trouble, that would be the end of us. and I mean it. i'm glad that you don't have to force your dh's hand in this like I do. my dh has told me that he can't just let his son stay in jail, so we shall see. this is the main reason i'm afraid of co-mingling too many assets with my dh. but it sounds like your dh isn't all about protecting ss from the consequences of his actions. good for you and your dh!

My dad began bailing out his son (from a different mother) when that son was 18. That son is now 48 and guess where he is? In jail. Again. Dad will probably bail him out by days end today.

Save your money.

Leave him to sit in jail and learn his lesson, it may seem harsh for your DH but he will do him no favors by constantly running to the rescue. My Dad has bailed my 1/2 sister out more times than he count, countless DUI's, until finally she ran over a man, thankfully he was not killed and her choice was either jail or rehab. My Dad paid for her rehab at a little posh resort cause he couldn't stand the thought of his precious little girl in the big bad jail. So she got a vacation and how did she reward all this? She still drinks like a fish and her latest bailout, oh Daddy, I've got $25,000.00 worth of credit card debt, can u pay that for me and he did.

I just shake my head, once you start bailing them out it never ends and they never learn to stand on their own. I always think you gotta live it to learn it, all she has learned is that Dad will always come to her rescue. Let your SS live this to learn it, and it will hopefully be a lesson to last him a lifetime.

You say this is the kids first go round with drugs... I highly doubt that. This is just the first time he got CAUGHT. And if he is peddling Oxi? then he's been smoking dope and doing other things prior. I would almost guarantee it, as that is usually the "pattern" teenagers/adults start out with the pot and alcohol and when that gets boring or fails to dull the pain, they move up to bigger and better.

I'm surprised his bail was only $1,000.00 to be honest. Trafficking prescription drugs is a big deal and not something the police and courts generally take lightly.

I hope your DH stands firm and does not run to help bail out pill head SS. Enabling is not going to be of help to him.

We paid for 3 rounds of rehab and SS BM and her husband paid for drug and driving fines. SS was arrested last year again - only know because the letter came to our home. My SS would not involved. He got himself in this mess and can get himself out. We have not heard from him in over a year since he knows any requests for money will fall on deaf ears.

You want to know what happens with "kids" like this who have a "parent" like BM? Well, let me tell you about my BIL. He is 35 years old and has only lived on his own (not mommy's house or daddy's apartment) for maybe a year tops. He has never had a cell phone on his own contract. He blames everyone else for the problems in his life. He just got out of jail for a smaller sentence because of FIL paying big bucks for a lawyer. Now he is back living with FIL again and still constantly "broke." Even though he doesn't pay rent or utilities, has no car, no alimony or CS to pay and mostly doesn't pay for groceries! How in the HELL can you be BROKE??

The first thing he said when my DH called him to tell him that he was finally done paying CS? "Can I borrow some money?" smdh