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Is this an unreasistic expectation?

stepmomsoon's picture

No remorse.. none.

My step kids NEVER feel bad about anything. To get them to apologize, you have to ask them for it - and of course we all know when that is the case, forget about it being sincere.. They just walk around like "oh well, I don't give a flying rats ass about YOU"..

They yell and scream while you are on the phone for work - do they feel bad? Hell no! They have the nerve to get mad and argue with YOU for telling them to keep it down for the 1000th time THAT DAY!

They download an inappropriate game to their ipads - one they KNOW you don't want them to play.. you catch them.. do they apologize and feel bad for being sneaks. Nope. They argue and get pissed.

They hurt someone's feelings and you tell them.. do they care? Nope!

They wake you up being loud on a work night (when they are on winter holiday break) - TWICE.. do they feel bad? NEVER.. have the nerve to be pissed at you for yelling at them.

These kids have zero of that "oh shit, dad (or mom) is going to kick my ass, I am in so much trouble, I better kiss ass and be good" vibe from them..

I know when I was younger, if I screwed up - OMG, I was totally humble when I was confronted with it.. I was SORRY and felt HORRIBLE.. and walked on eggshells for a while because I felt like an ass for whatever it was I did to break a rule or upset my parents.. not that I was beaten or abused and had fear - I just had that respect and wanted to please..

These kids (ss12 & 14) have none of this.. all I see is screw you entitlement!

Comments

Goincrazy40's picture

You are writing my story! Same thing in this house with SS14 and SD 12. They care about no one but themselves. It is pathetic.

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

This is my story as well for the past 11 years. And, you know what. It has never gotten better... only worse. They never get punished for anything - ever.

I absolutely dread and hate all school breaks.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Sounds about right. FauxSS9 has no remorse and no conscience. He laughs out loud when people get hurt. He has no consideration for anyone but himself. He's a psychopath in the making, like his "mother."

Tuff Noogies's picture

hell no. i ask dh quite often that same question- "is what i'm asking REALLY too much for them?"

invariably the answer is NO, it's NOT. but then nothing changes... *sigh*

they're really good kids, but sometimes DAYUM..... especially with manners and laziness.

EvilWickedSM's picture

Don't you just love the entitiled spoiled brats? Can't wait to see the spoiled entitled "adults" they grow up to be. My SD15 is the same way, because she's been raised by her BM and my DH to believe the world revolves around her.

For instance, she stayed with us last night and had a little extra stuff to take to school this morning, but nothing that she couldn't handle herself. She asked DH if he would help her take the stuff out when her ride got there. He said yea, he would...no biggie. BUT when her ride gets there he helps her with her stuf and he asked her to get the door....she started whining and threw a fit, because her hands were full. He said "So are mine and I have a bad arm right now, so get the door".

When he came back in he looked at me and said "I guess she's like that because I've done everything for her, huh". I just smiled and said "Yep, pretty much". Wink

SituationalTourettes's picture

Where is your SO/DH in all this? Just curious

This doesnt happen in my house because not only do I not allow it but my FDH doesnt either. Oh there are times he gives in and makes me want to punch him but I will tell him he's doing it and will also call out his kids on it to their faces.

stepmomsoon's picture

DH is bothered by it as well.. I pointed out to him last week their absolute lack of remorse when the snuck behind his back and downloaded a game they knew he wouldn't approve of.. Basically ss15 downloaded it on his ipad(when he knew DH had told them NO to having this game for the PS#) when he was at his moms. he then proceeded to give the game to his 12 year old brother..

DH, who gives them WAAAAAY more freedom than they deserve on their ipads, looked over ss12's shoulder and asked "is that what I think it is" (referring to the game)- BUSTED!!

So we sat both of them down and tried to have a talk with them.. Now you would think there would be "sorry dad" and then a discussion about how he gives them a lot of freedom and they disappointed him - right?

Oh no! Not these brats.. they argued about it and tried to tell DH they weren't deleting it! Did not feel bad what so ever!

After this sickening exchange of entitlement and disregard for rules I was pissed and so was DH - I went on to point out that there NEVER is a moment of "man, I fucked up" or a genuine apology or effort to do better..