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SS12 Only Wants to Hang Out With BM?

stepmommule's picture

Hi All,
First time posting here. I am married to a wonderful DH who has a SS12. SS12 spends 4 to 5 days with us and we do all the work (well DH does most of the work). SS12 only spends two days with BM (and she is useless). She is a disney mom with no responsibility!

What I dont understand is SS12 glorifies her! We do all the work and she gets all the praise. I suppose he is trying to make up in some sort of way for all her shortcomings.

My question is: even though other kids have reached out to him in some way...he has no friends. He only talks about his mother, and hangs out with her as a friend? We have tried to pair him up with other kids, but he doesn't really connect.

Is this some sort of weird attachment issue he has with his mother? Has anyone else experienced this? Why would a 12 year old not want to try and make friends instead of hanging with his mother!!

Comments

step off already's picture

My SS13's BM was absent for about 7 years of his life and just recently renewed her interest when she realized I was a permanent part of the picture. Now SS sees her EOWe - this is the most he's ever seen her in his life basically.

She pays no child support, doesn't help with anything we ask her to help with and is a horrible person. (seriously - read my blogs to learn more Lol

Anyway, though she claims she only works 5 hours a week, somehow she always has money to take SS to the movies or mini golfing or to the gym or whatever. She buys him tons of video games and lets him play all day at her house. He thinks she is the best thing since sliced bread. Makes me sick. It's always, "my mom this" or "my mom that".

The kid has given up playing basketball, football and baseball just so he can hang out with his mom.

It's like he's finally got her and he doesn't want to lose her now that she's back in his life. She fills his head with horrible things - including telling SS that DH will no longer love him once our baby arrives. What kind of mother does that? Oh - and she DOES NOT want more time with her son at all. Doesn't want any responsibility. Doesn't care if he does homework. Doesn't care at all.

stepmommule's picture

Thanks to both for the responses!

"Step off already".....re: your SS13's situation with his BM is the same as my SS12's BM - she has plenty of money to buy him video games...and believe me he plays alot. Its basically all he does at her house (we are the ones to try and get him into baseball, swimming, outdoor activities), and she doesn't even care to do homework with him (thats up to us!). I think she lets him play so much, because that way she can be on her computer doing her online dating!

I cant believe that in your situation, BM is telling your SS that when the baby arrives DH will no longer love him....That is SICK!