Why do I dread the visits so much?

We get SD14 pretty often. I never know when it's going to be but it usually goes on Wednesday night we get her for dinner, every weekend we keep her for one night, or if we know we have plans for the entire weekend we keep her for the entire weekend before or after.

So I knew tonight was going to be the night. But DH just confirmed that he is going to pick her up after work. My stomach feels like it's dragging the floor now. I hate this feeling. It seriously makes me want to go home, have beer, and pass out!

I'll have to deal with the usual non-sense of her thinking she is the woman of my house. She can talk to her dad like he's a peice of crap on her shoe. So pretty much my whole entire night is ruined.

She has this new thing, when he tells me he loves me she'll pop in and say "not as much as you love me daddy". I want to puke all over her when she does that. Last time she did it I paid attention, and the next time he told her he loves her I said not as much as you do me daddy, and blinked my eyes at him and looked at her all smug. I think she got the hint because she hasn't done it latley!

Oh Lord how I hate Wednesdays.

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part of the dread sounds

part of the dread sounds like not knowing until the last minute if she's coming or not. I can't tell you how angry I get when I make lasagna, salad, and garlic bread so we can have a family dinner, and then F calls and hour before they're supposed to arrive to tell me we don't have her that night. >:( I've now come around to the mindset where I assume we're having her, but there's always a plan B...

Of course that doesn't address the acting like she's the woman of your house. That's a whole other deal, and one I do NOT envy you for....

from my SD, the reason we're going through it all....:
o, btw, my dad and *northernsiren* are the best family a girl(and boy) could ever hope for. Thank you for helpping me through these hard times.

The uncertainty makes it harder

Our schedule is very random and I think it does make it far more difficult, especially if there is a problem step-child (we have one easy and one problem kid). I think you need time to gear up mentally in order to deal with the chaos. This on again off again parenting is just so hard sometimes. During the summer it seems like we have them just long enough to get our rhythm as a family and then they go back to crazy-land and we start all over. When you're only doing a day or two at a time it's pretty much impossible to get there. It's hard NOT to dread that, and your step-daughter's antics with the "not as much as you love me" thing would put pretty much anyone over the edge.

I guess I don't have much to offer in the way of advice, but plenty to offer in the way of sympathy! Any movies out you want to go see with a friend?

No movie,

I'm going to my Momma's! LOL!

Thanks for the sympathy......you know misery loves company. I guess that's why this site exist

I hear ya girl!

We have a set parenting schedule thanks to lawyers but I still dread it. We get her on Wednesday evenings for a few hours also and I hate that visit more than any of the other times. It is just a disruption to my calm, quiet, relaxed frame of mind to have her come in and drive the cat crazy and follow me all over the house talking my ear off. Sometimes she has already eaten dinner, sometimes she hasn't. So I quit planning nice meals and if shes hungry she can make a sandwich.I have learned that if I drink enough wine it makes things a lot better and we can actually have a little fun if we all play a board game!

could you

could you use Wed as your grocery shopping or errands night and then you would be busy and would not have to deal with this short visit.

another repeat sorry

i used to have to same problem

my only release was the end of the relation ship

we used to have them tuesdays (sometimes) and on a sat night every other weekend many that have read my post know that i had put my hate down to the fact that im ill and need a lot of rest and with working all week and falling staight to sleep from work the only time i had to myself was weekends

but looking at posts from you and others i now see that it was just dread of these little horrors interupting my schedule

the only advise i can offer you is do not be there when the skids are.

do you feel hatred for your skid ?
i was really uncomfertable with mine (they come into the picture alot later a year and a half into the relationship) i dont think i was prepared to be a step mother although i knew my Bf had kids i didnt have to see them so they where not a problem but wow was it different when they come into the picture.

when they are due/there do you think of ending it all?? i did then the min they had gone it was all forgot about until next tuesday morning id wake up with a massive feeling of dread.

its a nasty cycle and cant see it stopping!
im not suggesting u end your relationship i know nothing about you or you situation. im not sure if you have spoken to your dh about the way you feel but if you havent i think you should (this obviously did not work for me and ended up in a mssive blow out) try explaining it in the nicest possible way. although one time when i exploded and told bf how i and the rest of the world saw his precious little angels as horrible little spoiled bastards (i used those words) he did start to try not the best advise but it worked that little bit for me. it was just to late to save things

good luck

sorry

repeat post

It's thursday!

How did last night go, did you escape?

I am soo happy

since I put my foot down. My husband goes to visit the man/child so there are no more sleep overs. It is working well. Maybe he'll get a job & get some friends. Maybe his mother will start mothering him. It was time. I was tired.
Don't get me wrong. His children are always welcome here, just no sleep overs.
No complaints any more!!

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Why do I dread the visits so much?

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