SS13 Says, "Now I'm Jealous of Your Room?
When we first moved into our family home (that I purchased for us), DH and I decided to put all the kids into bedrooms upstairs and open up one of the bedrooms into a family room so that the kids could have their own area in the house. We opted to take a very dinky room that is barely large enough for our Queen Size bed, but it was downstairs away from BD12, BS10, BS9 and SS13.
Since I knew this was going to be quite a change for SS, I bought him all new furniture and we put a flat screen tv in his room (no other kids have that in their room, but since he previously had a television, and he was the oldest, we made it out as something special).
Anyway, yesterday, DH worked on enlarging our room, combining what we were using as an office with our bedroom so that it is now the largest room in the house.
When SS returns home from BM's he asks if we are keeping the room.
Then he asks if it's the biggest in the house.
Then he goes on to say that he is jealous of our room because it will be the best one in the house.
I quickly chimed in, "well, it's supposed to be. we are the adults in the house and we've worked hard for a long time to get the biggest room in the house".
Not sure why it bugged me so much. Just another example of his entitledness, I suppose.
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Comments
Tell him that when he buys
Tell him that when he buys his own house (insert evil laugh here if you think there's little chance of that happening in the next couple of decades) he can have any room he wants.
^^^ I used this last weekend.
^^^ I used this last weekend. SD was trying to tell my 3 year old what to do and I told her when she is 25 and has her own kids she can be the boss, but until then she can keep her opinions to herself!
Well, of coarse he thinks
Well, of coarse he thinks that. You've made him out to be the most important person in the family up to this point....of coarse hebisnt going to like the change. He gets the biggest and best room when you moved in and amenities that none of the other children get.
I know. I know. It's only
I know. I know.
It's only taken me 9 months to see the error of my ways during all of this and now EVERYTHING the kid does irritates me, but I know that I was part of the problem.
I knew this was going to be a big change for him, having to share his dad after 7 years alone together.
This kid needs to be shown
This kid needs to be shown that he is a child and nothing more in your household. You have given him spousal status and that is hard to change. I had done it with my BS18. But, after a lot of showing him that I was the boss, now he gets it. But, there was a lot of discussions between him and I to get there. Also, DH had to step in once in awhile and show him who was boss. No disciplining, but calling him out on things. I raised him alone for 7 years and that was why he thought he was my equal.
Your husband is the only one who can change this. DH does no discipline of mine or me of his son. THis works for us.
Yes. DH has had quite an
Yes. DH has had quite an education on parenting after seeing me and my kids in action. I've given him advice and explained how is actions give messages to SS and DH has really changed the way he interacts with the kid - a LOT. Are we perfect? Not anywhere near. We've got a ways to go, for sure.
But we are both aware of what we've done.
And, regarding SS13 - even
And, regarding SS13 - even though we did give him all of those extras in his room, they've all been since taken away. TV cables have been taken away, XBox removed from room, etc, etc and he hasn't had them in there for nearly 2 months now because he wasn't doing what was expected of him to deserve those special priveledges of being the oldest.
Another big shocker for him!
Prior to this, the longest DH would EVER take his TV/Video games away was a day or two TOPS.
Love that one "car payment".
Love that one "car payment".