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I guess I'm not done venting for the day

step off already's picture

Submitted by step off already on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:07pm

So, I've been trying to back off a bit from the "parenting" of SS and have been directing him to ask his father or alerting his father when SS is doing something he shouldn't be so that DH can handle it.

Funny thing is that I will still be sitting right next to DH and SS will come up to me and ask if he can do something. For example, we were at DD's game last night and SS13 walked right up to me and asked if he could call his mom later. I asked him why he was asking me and that he should ask his dad.

Anyway, since I've stepped back, I've realized that SS will go days without taking a shower if I don't ask him to. I now let DH know that SS hasn't showered in X Days and he may want to discuss it with him.

I've also learned that SS will wear the SAME white collared shirt to school so many days in a row that I'm not able to get the ring around the collar out - even if I wash it in bleach.

I'm torn. This kid lives with me full time, is 13 years old and has very poor personal hygeine and it's disgusting. It's odd because he will douse himself with Axe body spray and wants to make sure he is wearing his 'cool clothes" as soon as he gets home from school, but had no idea about how gross he is.

yuck.

Is this just regular teen aged boy stuff?

I know I have to "remind" my BS10 and BS9 to use soap in the shower, LOL and to pick up their clothes off of the floor and put them in their hamper - or to even let me know if they don't have enough school clothes. But with SS13, I try to give him his space since he's not my baby boy and I know he doesn't want me digging throught his drawers.

Comments

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:14pm

My resident skids go an average of one shower a week since I stepped back and put dh in charge of hygiene. They sometimes go up to 12 days between. Its gross....but its dhs responsibility to ensure his kids bathe.

step off already's picture

Submitted by step off already on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 1:00pm

Both.

Sometimes it's funny to hear others restate the ridiculous parts of your own life.

Yes, I talk about poop with the kids Wink

fedup13's picture

Submitted by fedup13 on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:34pm

My nephew is 14 and he will take a 45 min shower 2x a day if allowed. He is overly preoccupied with hygiene. Even when he was little, he could not stand to be dirty. He puts on more deodorant and axe than he should to the point that it is hard to be in the same room with him. Having worked with this age group of children, I will say that he is not the norm. The norm is stinky kids, catch them in the afternoon after P.E. on a hot day, whew!!...lol, and yes, it seems to be way worse with boys.

step off already's picture

Submitted by step off already on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:39pm

YES!! This kid will play basketball all afternoon and come home sweaty and smelly with dirt all over his face. Then at night when his dad DOES decide to tell him to shower, he'll ask if he can just do it in the morning since it helps him wake up. Then when dad agrees, SS DOESN'T EVEN TAKE ONE IN THE MORNING!

yuk.

I just DH know that his kid is the stinky one in class - the one that DH used to make fun of back when he was in middle school! (DH cares a lot about the kids being "cool" so that usually gets him to go have a talk with him.)

fedup13's picture

Submitted by fedup13 on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 1:54pm

Yeah, a lot of boys are like that. I don't understand it at all. These kids do get made fun of and even then it doesn't change them most of the time. My nephew, the clean freak, he tells kids in his class they need to bathe, not in a making fun of them kind of way, but trying to help them, and he says they still come back stinking.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:42pm

My nephew was the same way (couldn't stand to get dirty). Wouldn't even eat an ice cream cone when he was young, lest it drip down his hand. I gave him a sloppy joe for lunch once, oh my God, he had a cow!

fedup13's picture

Submitted by fedup13 on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 1:57pm

Haha, yeah, he was bad. The thing that used to freak him out was chocolate candy, when it would melt and get all over his hands and fingers, he hated that, and would scream for a baby wipe. Most kids would just lick it off, not him. He is a bit OCD I think. He has to have everything organized, shoes lined up in his closet, hair just right, freaks if his shoes are scuffed. When he was young, he would spend so much time lining up all of his toys, cars, he never played rough or had stuff scattered about. He is a great kid but needs to relax more.

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:41pm

It seems to be common, unfortunately. I have similar problems with SS16. I just try to avoid him so I don't get too grossed out. Still can't believe I spent 30 hours total traveling in the cab of my SO's truck with stink boy. And it was not an extended cab! Hopefully I don't get pressured to do that again.

I Lysol the tv remotes that SS handles. I know it irritates SO, and I tryto do it when SO's not looking. Not my fault SS never washes his hands-ever.

young but wise's picture

Submitted by young but wise on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 2:31pm

I have recently started to back off a little and let SO take care of more. I have said before that this is my fault to begin with because I am a little controlling and I would rather do things myself to either make sure it gets done right or to make sure things go the way I want them to. I didn't notice until I started backing off the SS5 comes to ME for everything. I have to tell him 10 times a day to "go ask dad"

step off already's picture

Submitted by step off already on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 2:34pm

Yes. I'm surprised how often SS13 asks me for things or help - especially when his dad is sitting right next to me.

The hard thing is that SS still resents me for all of my "rules" and "meanness".