Dh has taken a sudden interest in his personal appearance. Which is perplexing to me.

Quick background: Dh and twat waffle work for the same company. Company has no set dress-code. Dh always dresses for "comfort" at work (ex. jeans, t-shirt, hoodie). When we met he dressed better than he does now, mostly I assume because he was on the "prowl".

So company has a "new hire" that dh has to train. "New hire" is a (wait for it) single young woman. Dh has suddenly taken to dressing up a bit more. Collared shirts, his better jeans. He even smelled of cologne this morning. And I'm not taking Axe. He was wearing Armani, for Christ's sake! That's like kryptonite!

Now this is where it gets comical to me. When I asked him last night how it was going with "new hire" he said fine and that he warned her all about twat waffle. I asked if he told her he was once married to cuntcakes? He said, "yes". I then asked him if he mentioned he was remarried. He said "no, but I have a picture of you on my desk and I'm wearing a ring so I'm sure she assumed." Ok, fair enough. Usually I get several texts throughout the day from dh. Lately, I hear crickets from my phone. Zilch.

So then, to be the inquisitive little pest I am, I asked him to describe "new hire". Gawd, I only wish I could have recorded his mannerisms when he answered this. It was truly amusing. It's the shoulder shrugging, hemming and hawing, swishing breath out of his mouth, uh sounds, that can only come from a man who's struggling not to say too much for fear. I listened to him dance around the question and then asked specifics. Height, weight, marital status, age, hair color, etc.

I'm not threatened, because quite frankly I don't give two shits. If I wasn't threatened by the fact that he sees and works with his ex everyday, then this would hardly rattle me. And dh looks like a skinny brit, and by that imagine Chris Martin from 'Coldplay' minus the talent and the money and the good hair. So it's not exactly like the ladies are lining up around the block for him.

I'm just sitting back enjoying the show. Watching the puppet dance is entertainment at its finest. My last words to him this morning were, "have fun with the new hire". So I guess dh has a little office 'love triangle' in the works. Somebody pass me the popcorn so we can watch the show! Who's bringing the cocktails?