I guess after the last hearing in October we just kinda got on with living and it's been busy. We had some water damage in our bathroom and ended up remodeling completely, most of the work Dh and I did ourselves. Was having a little trouble getting things done while Dh was at work because I was so tired. I took two pregnancy tests before Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't believe it until we had the first sonogram last week. There's really a baby in there!
Dh is Happy, I'm happy, SD is happy, BM...well I guess I was hoping for a little too much. I know it sounds dumb of me, but I really had this idea in my head that if I just told her in the right way, kinda sharing with her like a friend, showing respect by asking about her pregnancy with SD, acting as if she would have some sort of involvement because of SD, that it would go well. Things have been really very calm since Sd has been living primarily with us, why does it have to end?
Well, as with many things in life, it didn't go according to my plan, my sweet little SD kinda spilled the beans. I do get quite a bit of satisfaction knowing that SD is so excited she just had to tell BM.
BM asked DH if she could have the week after Christmas because the weird rich lady she lives with wants to take them to Disney World. DH told her sure, she was going to have the week before Christmas and us the week after so he agreed to switch weeks. Then last week BM called me and asked if she could have SD Tuesday night to go to a play, also a treat from the lady. I said I would tell Dh but I was sure it would be fine. DH and BM talk and he tells her she can take her to the play, but when she tells him the play will not be over until 10pm and then they want to go out to eat afterward DH tells her that sounds way too late for a 3 year old getting over bronchitis to be out and he wants SD returned to us as soon as the play ends.
The day of, I took SD to her Dr appt, BM could not make it, on our way out of the office SD and I ran into BM's mom, sis and nephew there for nephew's appt. Being my usual self, I told them we were not in a big hurry and sat down to allow SD to play with her cousin. BM's mom asked if we had SD through Christmas and if she could come by. I said sure, or if you want to see her at your house maybe she and I could come by one day. Little bit later I talked to BM on the phone to give appt info. Things were going so well, I told her about me maybe taking SD by her mom's BM was asking me about court stuff. That evening BM showed up to get SD. She had already called me and said she was stressed because she wasn't going to have enough time to get SD ready, so I tried to help by doing SD's hair. BM has a friend with her she introduced to me as "Laura", but within a few minutes "Laura" is telling SD about her boys and it clicks that this is her friend "Lori" that was with BM when she pepper sprayed that girl earlier this year, and the one she testified under oath at the hearing she did not have any contact number or address to be able to reach her. I know it is sick, but I have begun to accept the lies as a part of BM's personality and I let it slide. All excited I helped them get SD ready, taking lots of pictures and promising to share them with BM as I always do. They leave.
10:15Pm Dh gets a phone call from BM's cell, it's SD asking if she can spend the night with mommy. AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH! WHat is this manipulitive bi**h's problem???? DH said when he finally got BM to get on the phone he asked her why she did that when they had already discussed it. Her sick reply, "I am sick and tired of always being the bad guy. When SD wants to know why she can't spend the night it is because her daddy is mean and he doesn't want her to and she needs to know that!"
BM brought Sd back and Dh followed her back out on the porch leaving SD with me inside. He asked BM again why she would put SD in the middle like that and then BM FREAKED OUT. She was cussing and yelling and calling ME names! THen she called her friend over out of her car and her friend asked DH, "SO when is she expecting?". TO me that is the only link between BM's sudden problem with me.DH said BM started yelling, "I don't think she can even have a kid!" and "I could care less if she is pregnant!" BM was calling me a "little sh*t" a "hood rat" and a "bi*ch" for digging up all that info on her criminal record, then she told DH she sees me following her around everywhere. WHat!! I only care for her daughter all day, every day, when does she think I have time to follow her anywhere? When she looked at me after giving an example of a time she claimes she saw me following her I told her I have never followed her. She said, "this is bull s**t!" and they left. THen within minutes she was blowing up our phones. We didn't answer and she didn't leave a message. Thank goodness DH totally kept his cool.
Now we are fairly certain BM never really got her occupational license. At one point she showed me a receipt that she paid for one and DH and I started allowing her to take SD for her weekend visits as the court order said, but the truth is neither of us ever saw an actual license so she could have been denied. I am so trusting I just took her word. DH told BM in the arguement he didn't believe she has a license, she yelled at him that she does, then her friend said she should just get it out of the car and show him, but BM refused. She told him, "I don't have to show you S**t!" We are awaiting a call from our attorney to tell us who she was supposed to show her license to get her overnight visits. Until she had her occupational license and the interlock device she was only allowed superised visits in our home. If we don't see proof, do we go back to that.
I am tempted to say no to the visits in our home. Now that we are pregnant, based on BM's reaction I'm not sure if I feel safe.
I was so depressed yesterday. Disappointed really. I had such high hopes and was trying so hard to work things out with BM. My mom pointed out that I am exhausting myself by repeatedly forgiving someone who has never even asked for forgiveness. How many times am I going to have to be verbally attacked by this girl before I give up on the fantasy I have of SD's two families working together with respect for her benifit?

Thanks for letting me vent and share!